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Sex education in school: What will your child learn?

You’ve seen the new text books and met you kids’ teachers. But here’s an equally important question to consider: What will your kids be learning about sex?

You've seen the new text books, met you kids' teachers, been lectured on the new Common Core standards, and probably have a sense of what your kids will be learning about math, science, history and literature this year. But here's an equally important question to consider: What will your kids be learning about sex?

Part of that question should be relatively easy to answer. Your school's sex education curriculum should be available to you upon request to a school official. Of course, since Pennsylvania does not have a state law requiring sexual health education, your district may not have any curricula! Local school boards are empowered to decide. New Jersey state law requires sex education, and delegates the content to local school boards. Once you find the curricula, look at the national standards approved by The American School Health Association and related national, professional organizations, which can be found here: Take a minute to read this document then check to see how your district is doing.

The content of curricula provides only part of the answer. Kids not only learn the facts of biology, anatomy and physiology at school, but they develop attitudes and beliefs about themselves and others that can last a lifetime. By facing important issues head on, parents can help ensure that their children add to a healthy sexual climate in their school, and ultimately to the community. Here are two important issues to get the conversations started:

Gender:

Thanks to Title IX of the Federal Educational Amendments, passed in 1972, we can reasonably expect our daughters to have the same opportunities for extracurricular activities as our sons. A generation of women who grew up as athletic competitors are parents now and expect gender equality. But certain things can't be legislated. We know for example that boys are more likely to be called on when they raise their hands; that some girls will dumb down in early adolescence so they won't look smarter than boys. You can hear what experts have to say about gender differences in education here.

Parents could have periodic discussions with their children and determine if boys and girls are treated equally. If you're not comfortable with what you hear, continue the conversations and if you confirm your perceptions, speak up. Contact with your child's teacher, or speak to a school administrator and determine who is responsible for these issues in your child's school. Some schools cover this topic as in-service trainings for faculty and staff, and periodic refreshers are a good idea!

Tolerance:

Children learn early lessons about how to treat others, and how the world will treat them. How will your child treat people who are different from them? Will they learn to cherish their own uniqueness? A school with a healthy climate promotes an environment of respect for all differences which needs to be reinforced by parents and this is especially true when it comes to sexuality. We don't want to see the girl who developed breasts first or the boy who experienced his growth spurt last teased into embarrassment or humiliation. These memories can leave lasting scars.

We also know that adolescents with alternative sexual orientations are at a higher than average risk for mental health challenges, in large part due to continued harassment at school. Teach your kids empathy and tolerance and model tolerance at home by correcting intolerant statements. It's always good to model celebrating individuality.

We can't leave the topic of Kids, Sex and School without mentioning the Skakeshaft Report, funded by the US Department of Education, which reports that at least 5 percent of all kids report experiencing sexual misconduct by a school employee before they finish school; read more about that here . Even a school with a world class curricula and incredible faculty and staff can't teach children what they need to learn about sexual health and safety without the help of informed and engaged parents.

Rosenzweig is also author of The Sex-Wise Parent: The Parents Guide to Protecting Your Child, Strengthening Your Family and Talking to Kids about Sex, Abuse and Bullying. For more information, read her blog and follow @JanetRosenzweig on Twitter.

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