Five rules for picky eaters
Healthy kids, health, pediatrics, parenting, toddlers, teenagers, nuitrition, allergies, asthma, ADHD
Five rules for picky eaters
Beth Wallace
by Beth Wallace
Ok. Let’s talk about it. Every parent asks this question, and every parent gets concerned at some point. What am I talking about?
How to deal with a picky eater.
For the last year and a half, a pediatrician that I work closely with would pull me aside after seeing patients to discuss his toughest problem patient ... his own daughter. Emma is a bright, beautiful, three year old who gives her parents so much joy, until mealtime. When Emma would sit down at the dinner table, you never knew what to expect. Some days getting Emma to consume a well balanced meal was easy, other days it was a battle of wills with every bite.
Being the provider of nutrition for your children is a critical and often frustrating role as a parent. The reality? You are probably putting a lot more pressure on yourself than I ever would. So I will tell you what I told that pediatrician and every other parent who asks.
Rule #1. Know your role
As a parent, you have the very best intentions, but actually, you only have three true responsibilities at mealtime.
- Offer a variety of nutritious foods at each meal
- Set regular times for meals and snacks
- Provide a pleasant, low stress setting for mealtimes
That’s really it. Structuring mealtimes is essential to promote a normalized cycle of hunger and satiety, and helps children feel confident on deciding how much to eat. Speaking of which ...
Rule #2. Give your child his or her opportunity to decide the rest
The other details including what they choose to eat, how much they eat is up to the child. Making a child clean their plate or forcing new foods leaves a child with a feeling of negative pressures during mealtime.
Rule #3. Relax!
At mealtimes, never let the kids see you sweat about their choices. I know, it’s easier said than done. But even if you are concerned that your child hasn’t eaten something green or red in three weeks, it doesn’t mean they never will. Actually, it can take up to 20 exposures to the same food before a child will even have the confidence to take a single bite. So keep serving healthy foods – eventually you’ll reach their tipping point.
Rule #4. Get them curious
Putting a food on a plate is one thing. But letting them see where it came from and how you prepare it can make even the most picky child interested in a new food. Encouraging children to participate in the purchasing and preparation of foods allows a child to become more comfortable with new items. So does letting them help you in the garden, help you gather produce at the pick-your-own fruit or veggie farm or choose the best peaches or green beans at the farmstand
Rule #5. Know that it’s normal
All children (even those of us who became nutrition professionals!) go through phases with foods. Children may have a set of innate food preferences (salty, sweet, bitter), but many other food preferences will change over time. Most children will eat enough over the weeks and months to grow and develop well. If you have concerns that your child is not growing, ask your health care provider for a closer evaluation, and if a multivitamin is a good choice for your child.
And what about Emma today? Her parents did everything right and never lost their cool. Just after her third birthday, Emma started to eat like a big girl, trying all sorts of new things. Now, lucky for them, food fights are a thing of the past.
Beth Wallace, a registered dietitian at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, has more than six years of experience in providing nutrition care for children and adolescents.
Is there a picky eater in your house? How do you handle meal times?
These are your kids, not your friends that you have to be gentle and political about. In my parents' house when growing up, either I eat everything that was cooked that meal, or starve until the next meal. It was simple as that. You don't give kids CHOICES, because they don't have the knowledge or experience to make the right ones.— penncrow19- So in other words, do the opposite of what is being suggested by penncrow19. Nothing like giving kids anxiety about food -- after all -- we're a nation of wonderfully fit, healthy, nutritious individuals . One thing I have found to be a boon with my 14 mo-old is taking brown rice and mixing in different flavors - curry, a touch of cumin, even different sauces -- he scarfs it. The rice is a palate that offers the chance to experiment to see what he likes. (HTML deleted)— Murrayman
- My kids are great eaters. You know why? Because when they were little they didn't get the choice to just eat chicken nuggets or mac and cheese for every meal. As a parent, you control what your kids are exposed to for many years. My kids had plenty of fruits and veggies and liked them because they didn't know about potato chips and soda. Now they are older and can make their own choices, but I still buy the groceries. You want to drink soda and eat chips, fine, but eat some fruit and veggies too. We've never had a problem and I've never had to "disguise" food or hide things in other foods. People make things way too complicated. This special cooking for kids and making all meals rotate around their picky habits is insane.— lulu
- You would think your kids would be excited for dinner. Especially when mom is cooking, sorry Dad's. These kids must not be that hungry if they are picky. Kids these days are active therefore, they do not burn the energy needed to get hungry. Just because it is "dinner time", does not mean "I need food."— brandonu
- These are some valid tips. I don't have a 'picky eater', but I do have a toddler! All toddlers assert their independence in any way that they can, and all parents need as much help, education, and support as possible. I was lucky, I had a lot of practice as a behavior therapist working with children with feeding issues at CHOP. For anyone looking for further help, 'like' Toddlers and Tomatoes on Facebook, and check out our site as well!
— ToddlersandTomatoes 
Neither of my children were picky eaters, nor is my Grandchild who is in my care for 10 or more meals a week. For his 6th birthday he wanted Broccoli instead of a cake, or a broccoli cake, whichever - he didn't care. It's what you get when an adult raises a child. Today the problem is obvious - children are raising children, and the country becomes more absurd by the minute. My guess is our goose is cooked... God Bless America... R.I.P. ...- One thing someone may wish to try that is now the normal way things are at our house: "Dinner" has been de-emphasized as an important meal. Hard to believe as it sounds big hearty meals centered around some kind of "Animal Protein" (meat) are flat out wrong, unless one is going in for the night shift after this meal. By and large the average American would do much better with a salad containing 10 or 15 different fruits and vegetables (No meat necessary before bed). Follow that up with 4 ounces of ice cream (3 or 4 times a week, as required) AND A WALK AROUND THE BLOCK (7 days a week, as required), and then shut down the food intake until morning. High protein/fat breakfast. More of the same for lunch, and that's about all the food anyone would need all day. Know your caloric needs and stay within the proper range for each person, and take walks instead of watching the idiot box. Simple as pie... One last tip: Nothing, and I mean nothing with sugar or it's evil twin (High Fructose Corn Syrup) should be allowed into your house. Ever... Other than a small quantity of a really good ice cream... (But NOT for every day use!)...
