(A brief discussion twixt Baer & Baer's editor, a.k.a. BE)
JB: Ya know, boss, I've been thinking of ways to make life easier on our honorable state lawmakers and maybe save us some money.
BE: Why do I suspect this isn't serious thinking?
JB: Hear me out: the running total of lawmakers recently charged with DUI or anger-related offenses is up to four.
BE: Remind me.
JB: Well, you've got Allentown area Republican state Sen. Bob Mensch appealing a conviction last month for brandishing a handgun at another driver on I-78; there's Philly Dem Rep. Cherelle Parker charged with DUI after she got caught driving the wrong way on a one-way street; there's suburban Dem Rep. John Galloway pulled over at two in the morning in Harrisburg earlier this month and charged with DUI; and now there's Bethlehem Dem Rep. Joe Brennan charged with public drunkeness and careless driving.
BE: A gang of four.
JB: So far. So I'm thinking with the total rising maybe lawmakers should convert their private gym in the Capitol (built with around $178,000 in public money back in `98) into a private rehab facility.
BE: Wait, isn't that the gym they just bought new exercise bikes for?
JB: Yep. Earlier this year. $5,000 of our money for two bikes because the greed and spending for their desires never, ever stops.
BE: I figure they need rehab for greed addiction too.
JB: You figure right. And I figure if we switch the gym to rehab we'll save money because the accused and convicted won't be spending our dollars on gas to go back and forth between private rehab facilities and the Capitol.
BE: Smart. One-stop shopping.
JB: And even those legislators appealing charges can get a head start on dealing with their personal issues.
BE: Appealng? There's nothing appealing about them.
JB: You are such a wit. We should grab a beer sometime.
BE: I'll drive. You bring the handgun.