Operation Black Fly

(A brief discussion twixt Baer & Baer's editor, a.k.a. BE)

JB: Don't go near the water, coach, today's the day the state starts spraying for black flies along the Delaware River.

BE: Gnats, you mean.

JB: That's right, chief. Forget about that bin Laden raid, this is the real deal. Aerial attack on 33 counties, 1,600 miles of state streams and rivers, cast of thousands, cost of millions.

BE: Wait. Cost of millions?

JB: Well, the official announcement doesn't say how much but in past years it's been around $7 million.

BE: For gnats?

JB: To keep our outdoor activities safe from nusiance, yes. And to keep the pesticide industry humming.

BE: If not the gnats.

JB: Good one, boss.

BE: And where exactly will this spraying be?

JB: Aha! You're on to them. Well, it won't be in Philadelphia, Pittsburgh or Montgomery County.

BE: The three most Democratic counties in the state.

JB: You know your voter registration stats.

BE: You're not suggesting....

JB: Well, you tell me. Of the 33 counties to be saved from nusiance 19 are Republican.

BE: Oh, brother. Could it be that more rural areas have more streams and rivers?

JB: You've been compromised, haven't you. It's a plot. No money for human services. Money for gnats. GOP. Gnats Over People!

BE: You really have lost it.

JB: Oh? What about bacillus thuringiensis israelensis, a.k.a., Bti?

BE: What about it?

JB: That's what they're spraying; a presticide described as "essentially non-toxic." Who do you think the biggest recipient of Bti PAC funds is?

BE: Stop it. Just stop it.

JB: Grrrr.

Continue Reading