Oh, please, no!
State lawmakers are pushing a special commission to investigate the Penn State child-sex scandal. Someone should stop them now.
Oh, please, no!
(A brief discussion twixt Baer & Baer's editor, a.k.a. BE)
JB: Boss, don't say anything, just listen.
BE: Hard to do, but OK.
JB: Promise me, PROMISE ME, you won't ask me to cover any aspect of the legislature's proposed special commission to investigate the Penn State child-sex scandal.
BE: They want a commission?
JB: A "bipartisan, bicameral" commission, the worst kind.
BE: How so?
JB: Because it's THEM in all their self-important glory. The same crowd that can't do ANYTHING! Let them form a "bipartisan, bicameral" commission to deal with the state economy or jobs programs or health care costs or one to INVESTIGATE cutting their size, staff and pay!
BE: Who's pushing this?
JB: House Republican Leader Mike "sell-the-State-Stores" Turzai. He actually said on the House floor, "When it comes to our children, we all are for protecting the children." THAT's the level of insight a legislative commission promises. Oh, but it's not just Republicans. Democratic Leader Frank Dermody quickly issued a statement saying "the commission needs the ability to subpoena witnesses so that it is empowered to find the truth." Find the truth? THESE guys are going to subpoena people to FIND THE TRUTH?
BE: But the Penn State thing's pretty big. Shouldn't it be investigated?
JB: IT IS BEING INVESTIGATED!! State Attorney General Linda Kelly stresses that. It's an ONGOING investigation! The State Police are investigating it. The San Antonio, effin-TEXAS police are investigating it! The U.S. Department of Education is investigating it! The Penn State Board of Trustees is investigating it! The NCAA says it's watching developments but IT might investigate! And U.S. Rep. Bobby Rush, D-Illinois, wants Congress to investigate the NCAA because of it!
BE: But surely they'll stay away from the criminal investigation.
JB: Yeah, because they're known fgor their laser focus, for never getting far afield, for always doing exactly what they say they'll do.
BE: If I didn't know you better, I'd say you're being sarcastic.
JB: Do you know what the state Senate passed yesterday?
JB: A bill to allow farmers to move farm equipment more freely on Pennsylvania roads.
BE: But that's not really relevant to your...
JB: THAT's the kind of stuff they can do! They can't do anything that's actually important! If they want to investigate something they should investigate themselves for wasting time and money to hot dog around doing redundant unnecessary investigations!
BE: I can see this is upsetting you.
JB: Just promise. GRRRRR!