Newt's Moon Shot

(A brief discussion twixt Baer & Baer's editor, a.k.a. BE)

JB: Yo, chief, didya watch that Thursday night GOP debate?

BE: You kidding? Thursday night is "Project Runway All Stars" on Lifetime.

JB: Well, you missed a good one. Newt talked about going to the moon.

BE: To the moon, Alice!

JB: Yeah, see, you and I are the only people who'd get that reference. But, listen, Newt's plan is bound to get attention. Look for editorial cartoonists to have a field day.

BE: What's his plan, steal the moon like the villain in "Despicable Me?"

JB; Sorta. But he wants to steal it for the USA. He told current and laid-off NASA workers on Florida's space coast that he wants a permanent moon base for colonization and later statehood.

BE: Hey, maybe Tom Corbett Space Cadet can run for governor there!

JB: Stay focused. Newt says we can pay for this by offering prize money just like Lindbergh got a $25,000 prize for his solo trans-Atlantic flight in 1927, and then corporate America can invest.

BE: Wow. He really is lunar looney. It's Lunar Tunes! Think it's because his face sorta resembles the moon?

JB: Well, Romney, Paul and Santorum brought him back to earth. Biz whiz Romney said if a business executive came to him with a plan to spend a few hundred billion to put a colony on the moon, Romney would say, "You're fired."

BE: And Paul?

JB: Paul said he'd "maybe like to send some politicians up there."

BE: And our own Rick?

JB: Noted that conservative Republicans want to cut programs and spending and that going to the moon is "not a responsible thing" to do.

BE: So maybe it'll be a solo shot. You don't think Newt's pandering to space-industry workers in Florida because of the upcoming Tuesday primary, do you?

JB: I think he's hoping his campaign gets a lift-off in Florida, launching a strong run at the nomination and rocketing into a national lead.

BE: Well, you know Santorum won't abort his own mission.

JB: Stop. Please stop.

BE: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....

JB: Grrrrrr.