Hit the Mitt

Get psyched, kids, tonight you get the chance to watch GOP candidates for president attempt to throw strikes and try to hit the Mitt.

Yep, on CNN from 8 to 10, seven of your favorite Republican players pitch their stuff at St. Anselm College in Goffstown, New Hampshire.

For you theological history buffs, St. Anselm was an 11th Century Archbishop of Canterbury best known for his arguments to prove the existence of God.

Tonight, Republicans will seek to prove the existence of viable candidacies against an incumbent president.

Watch for six of them to mix their bean balls at Obama with fastballs right at Mitt. That's cuz Romney is the only one of the seven in double digits (24 percent) in a the latest USA Today/Gallup Poll released yesterday.

So you can bet Pawlenty will use his (pretty good) line tying Mitt to Obama by calling the former Massachuettes Guv's health care plan "Obamneycare."

Right around that time I expect Newt will just leave the stage (as if he hasn't already).

Then, I imagine, Herman Cain will say "the rent's too damn high;" Ron Paul will call for abolishing the federal government; and Michele Bachmann will accuse Rick Santorum of sexting her inappropriate photos of men with dogs.

Then Mitt will get hit for being pro-life before he was pro-choice before he was pro-life; for pushing communistic health care before pushing to abolish communistic health care; for believing in global warming, and for looking like, as "The Daily Show's" Jon Stewart has said, "the guy who fired your father."

Should be fun. And don't worry about too many candidates. Tonight's an improvement. The last time Republicans debated at St. Anselm, back in June 2007, there were 10, including Romney and Paul, McCain, Giuliani and Huckabee and some guys nobody ever heard of then or can now remember.

And after it's over, I'm betting The Donald and Sarah will announce that having seen the field in action they can no longer stay on the sidelines, thereby proving (at least for journalists) that there really is a God.