Don't Drink and Fur

(A brief discussion twixt Baer & Baer's editor, a.k.a. BE)

JB: Great news, boss, your state legislature is solving one of the pressing issues of the day.

BE: The deficit? The school-funding problem? The higher-ed mess?

JB: Bigger. The House yesterday unanimously passed a bill (HB 860) to go after those who drink too much while hunting and furtaking.

BE: Furtaking?

JB: Yeah, you know, the taking of fur.

BE: We do that?

JB: Apparently some of us do when we're drunk.

BE: But no more, right?

JB: Right. State Rep. Deberah (and, yes, that's how she spells her name) Kula, a Democrat representing parts of Fayette and Westmoreland counties in the far southwest, sponsored the measure. It lowers the legal blood-alcohol level for hunters and furtakers from .10 percent to .08 percent. It passed the House 197-0 and now heads to the Senate. The Game Commission gets to enforce it.

BE: Walking up on armed drunkards and trying to test them for a blood-alcohol level? What could possibly  go wrong? And won't lobbyists for the Alcoholic Furtaking Association now donate booze and furs to our state senators to shoot it down?

JB: Good point.

BE: And didn't I read that the House also just passed a bill to allow bars to extend happy hours?

JB: Yep. The bill's from Rep. John Payne, R-Dauphin County. It also lets customers buy up to three unopened bottles of wine to go.

BE: Perfect. What wine goes best with fur?

JB: Not sure, but, hey, you can't say our lawmakers aren't facing our critical issues head on. Now we can drink more for longer periods and have less fear of being skinned by drunken hunters...unless, of course, they get three bottles of wine to go.

BE: What's a drunken hunter with a fist full of fur say when a Game Commission official approaches for a blood-alcohol test?

JB: Grrrr?