Corbett's 'Family' Man

(A brief discussion twixt Baer & Baer's editor, a.k.a. BE)

JB: Hey, boss, didya renew your subscription to "The Family in America?" Just $35 for a year's worth of the popular quarterly journal.

BE: Gee, I hope so. Wouldn't want to miss an issue.

JB: Same here. And sales are likely to soar after all the great publicity it got in the Inky story about its editor, Robert W. Patterson.

BE: I saw that. Too bad the guy's now bounced from his Corbett administration gig at our state Department of Welfare, cuz it sounds like he's got some great insights.

JB: You betcha. I especially like his reported view that "if women wanted to find `Mr. Right,' they should shun birth control pills; and if they wanted to improve their mood, they should not insist that their men wear condoms lest they miss out on beneficial chemicals found in semen."

BE: Who doesn't want beneficial chemicals? They should sell semen at Rite Aid.

JB: Amen, brother.

BE: And yet, I can't help but think not everyone thinks like Patterson, which is why he won't be drawing a six-figure state salary any more and maybe why there'll be some questions as to why the Corbett administration hired him.

JB: Hmmm. Maybe so. But remember, this is same administration and the same Department of Welfare where the boss, Gary Alexander, issued a dress code for women: panty hose or tights are a must, but no open-toed shoes.

BE: So he's into pantyhose? Well, pantyhose and closed-toed shoes is a good look.

JB: Actually, I think the intended message was for women to wear more than that but not slacks.

BE: Oh.

JB: Anyway, I'm sure it's comforting to women to know that the men running the state's social programs are so attuned to womens' issues such as modes of dress, lifestyle decisions and ways to improve their moods and chemical balance.

BE: Women must feel grateful.

JB: And I figure Patterson can easily find new employment.

BE: Yeah, on the Santorum campaign.

JB: For as long as THAT lasts. Grrrr.