Montco Madness

Even though I've lived in Delaware County for most of my 51 years, I've spent a far greater portion of my life in Montgomery County. I attended what I like to call the Paoli Local Educational System, including a decade at Merion Mercy in Lower Merion, four years dancing around the maypole in Bryn Mawr and three years sweating it out at Villanova Law. I also taught at the Haverford School, spent Saturdays roaming around Ardmore's Suburban square and heading up to Norristown when legal circumstance required. In short, I know the place inside and out and think of it as much an extension of 'home' as Havertown or South Philly. And that's why I'm not too happy with one if the homeboys. Registrar of Wills D. Bruce Hanes woke up one morning this week and heard voices telling him that he's now a judge, and that he is more than qualified to assess the constitutionality of Pennsylvania laws. Either that or a burning bush appeared in his living room and ordered him to ignore the law against same sex marriage and to issue licenses to every Madam and Eve that came asking. Many have cheered his enlightened approach to anarchy. But I hope he's consistent. That's why I'm planning to head up to my old stomping grounds and seek a marriage license so I can get hitched with my beloved goldfish, Antonin Scale-ia. That's against the law, too. But hey, whatever.