There are diseases and then, there are diseases
The muddled reasoning of the addiction advocates
There are diseases and then, there are diseases
Country singer and drug addict Mindy McReady commits suicide, leaving behind two young boys. We're supposed to feel sympathy for her because she was 'sick' like, say, my father who died of cancer. My take: my dad did not invite his illness into his life, and he fought like hell to stay in this world with his five children and wife. I have no sympathy for a mother who creates her own disease and then succumbs to it, abandoning two souls she created.
Perhaps I'm heartless. Perhaps I only have enough space to grieve for those little ones left behind. But if one more person says that a drug addict is 'sick' like a cancer patient I will have blood on my tongue from biting it.
The fact is that while there may indeed be a genetic component to addiction, you do not become an 'addict' if you don't engage in prohibited or dangerous activity.
Which means that if you know you have a propensity to over-medicate, you stay away from the bar, the medicine cabinet, the street corner. It really is as simple as that, despite the high-minded philosophizing of addiction specialists. And if you are the mother of young children, you do not cry a river about the problems in your life, and then put an end to that same life because it's easier than doing the hard work of surviving.
I have known what it's like to be left behind after a loved one commits suicide, and as I said before, I have known what it's like to lose a loved one to cancer. There is anger toward the first, who throws away a salvageable life. There is regret for the second, who fights to remain.
And if that is intolerant, so be it.
Comments (47)
There are plenty of drug addicted babies that develop issues because of the actions of their mothers. You can't blame them. One even just ran for U.S. Congress.
"Born to a mother who was a heroin addict, Mansfield was quickly thrust into foster care, bouncing around a number of facilities all the way through high school.
In addition, two of his siblings were murdered and for a few years in the early 1990s, Mansfield was homeless.
Those are just some examples.
"I am not a criminal. I am not a drug addict. I've honorably served this country and that's all that matters," says Mansfield, who retired from the military as a sergeant."
See: http://www.newsworks.org/index.php/local//mt-airychestnut-hill/45934-mansfield
— featherman- Perhaps your father wouldn't have fought so hard if he had any inkling of the kind of nasty, self-absorbed, immoral, judgmental harpy his daughter was to become. Think of it this way: his death saved him from having to read the garbage you write sometimes.
This woman's death is not for you to comment on. You have no idea what prompted her self-destructive behavior, and no credentials, including simple membership in the human race, which qualify you to have an opinion.
You should be ashamed of yourself.— carl and sons - Those of us who survive a suicide understand the ineffable pain of losing a loved one to an unnatural death. No explanations are sufficient.
I just learned of yet another suicide by a young war veteran. The son of a friend of a friend who tells me that the mother's face is ravaged from grief.
My compassion for the deceased is deep but it also extends to the survivors....the children who must grow up orphaned....the mothers and fathers who must ask repeatedly...why, why, why? Why my child????
Sometimes, the anger never leaves...
Let's all refrain from being judgmental. Please.— Gendres - Sorry Gendres, your superficial “plea” is out of place here, unfortunately, after the author a huge greande. I can’t believe these words came from a 50 yr old woman and not a 13 yr old bitter fan of McCready’s (btw if you’re going to spit on her grave, at least spell her name correctly!). There is something deeply disturbed with a person like Flowers who cannot summons a shred of compassion for someone in this instance. McCready also suffered from mental illness – did she invite that in to her life too? Mental illness very often contributes to substance abuse and creates very steep hurdles in getting it under control. But because McCready wasn’t a fetus in the womb, she isn’t worthy of Christine’s compassion … because her Dad fought to stay alive? – you think McCready hadn’t fought? Jeeze – what a monster you are Christine. Be proud that these horrendous words of yours will live on forever. How could anyone ever want to be a friend or known acquaintance to such a sub-human ghoul? Have you no shame?— B Beal 19146
- and sons, to borrow from your persona, you are a bitter piece of human ignorance. You are unable to disagree and state your reasons other than to spew vile. You do not know McCready. You merely pile on. You exemplify a twisted soul, unable to confront reality and offer reasoned judgment.— Richar Poor
- So you wrote to tell me I spew "vile" by spewing "vile" yourself?
Don't you ever look in a mirror? Also vile is not a noun.— carl and sons - Please never lecture your readers again on Christianity because your words have demonstrated that you have no more understanding of the love for all people that Jesus taught his followers than do the members of the Westboro Baptist Church. I do truly pity you for the hatred you feel towards so many groups of people.— Ed G
- Obviously, this piece stirs strong emotions. Forgive me if I do not join the tar and feathers mob. I also lost a dear friend to suicide and understand the confusion and shock such a deed causes. The endless questioning. One of our mutual friends was so angry over it, she went to the grave and kicked the stone as hard as she could. That was 20 years ago and we have not spoken since the tragedy.
Of course, those who kill themselves are disordered. Something inside them disconnects the natural instinct for survival. Drugs or alcohol are most often used as self medication for deep depression, but end up only exacerbating the pain and often becoming the instrument of death. We all know that.
Sometimes the death is accidental. I lost a 24 year old cousin to poison laced heroin. It took him months to die. Why he took those drugs will never be known, but his mother's heart is forever broken.
All I am saying is that anger at the act of suicide, the complete waste of a young life, is not only understandable but a symptom of a broken heart.
— Gendres - Christine, your compassion is a model for catholics everywhere.
- This piece stirs strong emotions because it shows a complete ignorance of depression, addiction, and the feelings and forces that can ultimately result in suicide. If anyone thinks depression is "self created", they are ignorant. Did Christine's father smoke? Then he was "over medicating", and his cancer was at least partially "self created". Perhaps it had a heriditary component, much like depression does. Who really knows? Who has the right to judge?
My father died when I was in high school. Never once did I feel that gave me cause or an excuse to point fingers at others. If you can't express sympathy or empathy, then your plan 2 should be to pretend you have some tiny degree of good upbringing and shut the hell up.— carl and sons - Bottom line, none of us knows the depth of pain we each feel due to the senseless loss of a loved one. Reaction to that pain can run the entire grief spectrum from anger to guilt to resignation.
The crazy thing about grief is that it keeps revolving over all its aspects. The suddeness of anger or depression can hit without warning...sometimes years later. And the thought that there could or should have been some kind of intervention that did not happen is enough to make one scream.
No matter how many clinical, emotional or scientific causes for self-destructive behavior, that does not alleviate the pain or grief of the survivor who is surely just as much a victim as the deceased.
Is it possible to have compassion for all such victims? And to understand their feelings too?
— Gendres - So Christine is a victim of loss, fine. Once we get to certain point in our lives, we all are. That doesn't excuse the ignorance, and stone cold heatless arrogance of this particular blog posting. I should think it's possible to deal with one's loss in other ways than by publically flagellating some poor lost soul who couldn't get her life together for whatever reasons- reasons that you are not privy to or able to understand.— carl and sons
- "I have no sympathy for a mother who creates her own disease and then succumbs to it, abandoning two souls she created."
and sons cannot assimilate what he reads. all he can do is pile on.
to follow your logic, and sons, your poor deceased father is turning over in his grave at your admissions of ignorance.— Richar Poor - Depression is not a self created disease, no more than cancer or heart disease or a thousand others are. Are you capable of assimilating that simple fact? — carl and sons
- Interesting word "flagellate". It comes from the Latin for whip. The author whose heart goes out to the small children of the dead woman and decries the events that led to her intimely death and wonders what she could or should have done to save herself and them a lifetime of grieving - for that she is accused of "flagellating".
Losing a life that is, as Christine says, "salvagable" is one of life's greatest tragedies.
Especially when death is avoidable....with the right kind of intervention.... the correct initial response is indeed rage.
But noooooo, she is too upset at a tragic death and a wasted life. What a shame!
So... the knee-jerk comments that are heaped on the author at every turn are also every bit a flagellation, with intentional and cruel cuts at her faith, even her family.
And, scooby, you are the last person to lecture anyone on compassion. Your past comments prove that over and over.
— Gendres
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See Christine Flowers on Channel 6's "Inside Story" Sunday at 11:30 a.m.
Christine M. Flowers
Daily News Columnist
Email Christine M. at cflowers1961@yahoo.com Reach Christine M. at cflowers1961@yahoo.com.
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