War and Pieces of Work

As the daughter of a onetime soldier, I can’t stand it when civilians (like me) use the metaphors of ‘war’ to explain differences of opinion.  It is both disrespectful to the people who sacrificed a great deal for this country on bases and battlefields, and gives undeserved weight to what are nothing more than artificial controversies.
Take, for example, the so-called war on women.  As we’ve seen over the past few weeks, some people have an innate ability to shoot from the mouth, sending the bullet directly into their own feet.  Todd Akin is one of these not-so-sharpshooters.  His now-legendary comment that women cannot get pregnant as the result of rape has been widely discredited, and he will probably lose his Senate race to stupidity, not to McCaskill.  Conservatives want him to disappear.  Liberals, on the other hand, are thrilled with this gift that keeps on giving, because they’ve been able to parlay his unfortunate choice of words into a battle cry of “Save the Women!” It’s as if we were under enemy fire and President Obama is the only one who could protect us against the evil impregnators of the world.
Democrats are going to play up this perceived gender gap issue by making Sandra ‘I’m a little short on cash this month’ Fluke as a featured speaker at their own convention next month.  The Georgetown law student is a foot soldier in the battle for what some have call ‘reproductive rights’ and others call hyperbole.  I hate to break it to the bellicose libs, but there is no war on my gender.  In fact, the only people who make me feel as if I’m under assault are other women who persist in saying, as one recently did, that I only care about this ‘tiny little cell of life’ over the welfare of a ravaged rape victim. 
Right next to that battlefield is the one where the starving and tattered hordes that make up the 99% are marching, barefoot and with pitchforks, toward the castle of Romney the Rich.  The Class War started when the Occupiers put away their soap and picked up their bullhorns, decrying the duplicity of the Wall Street crowd.  Then, as it became clear that Wall Street wasn’t a big enough target, they transferred their hatred to the fiscal conservatives like Paul Ryan who want to take granny hostage as a spoil of war and think that the Middle Class should live as they did in the Middle Ages.  As a nice rhetorical flourish, we have President Obama (the man gets around) telling the angry crowds that those rich people holed up in the castle didn’t build anything they owned, including that solid-gold drawbridge separating them from the proletariat.
And then we have a booby-trapped minefield just south of there, where the Race War is taking shape quicker than Hurricane Issac.  One of the hottest battlegrounds in this war is our own fair state of Pennsylvania where, according to the valiant protectors of the unidentifiable, Keystone Republicans want to disenfranchise ‘certain’ voters.  Those ‘certain’ voters happen to be, surprise, surprise, primarily of the Democratic persuasion according to these warriors.  Additionally, they happen to be teetering on the edge of their deathbeds.  But even more than this, most of them happen to be minorities.  And when we say minority, of course we mean Black.  So let’s recap:  Voter ID is a nefarious plan by slimy conservatives to wrest an election landslide from the first post-racial President.  It is a throwback to the Mississippi of the 1960s where people were murdered simply for trying to exercise their right to vote.  It is a way to keep some people shackled, in chains (or so I hear from a reliable source.)  It is a way to allow the wealthy and the privileged and the white and the male to strengthen their chokehold on this wonderful country of ours.  It is, in short, a way to roll back all of the progress achieved through the Civil Rights movement. 
Women.  Ninety-Niners.  African-Americans.  Senior Citizens.  And whatever pops up on the Western Front.  I’m exhausted. 
Now might be a good time to check out the Quakers.

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