Bittersweet Caroline

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The inspiration for a banned song

I find it laughable that Penn State has decided to ditch “Sweet Caroline” as one of the songs that are played when the revamped and revolutionized football team takes the field.  While C. Delores Tucker and Tipper Gore were actually right to be upset about lurid lyrics back in the 90s, this takes political correctness to a whole new level.  Apparently, in the wake of the Sandusky scandal, we must purge anything that even vaguely reminds us that human beings are contact animals (even when we are at a football game.)  The offensive lines in “Sweet Caroline” are, presumably, these:


Touching hands

Reaching out

Touching me

Touching you….

Raise your, um, hands, all of you who think of pedophilia when you hear these words.  No one?  Thank you.

So I suppose these songs are also off the playlist too:

Touch Me in the Morning” by Diana Ross.

Don’t Stand so Close to Me” by the Police.

 “Teacher, Leave Those Kids Alone” By Pink Floyd.

The possibilities are endless, God help us.