The most important job
It's self-evident, and Hilary Rosen is blind
The most important job
After weeks of poo-poohing the idea of a ‘war on women,’ I’ve had a change of heart.
There is indeed a war. And it’s being waged from the left flank.
By now, anyone not attached to life support has heard what Hilary Rosen said about the GOP front-runner’s wife: “Ann Romney never worked a day in her life.”
The moment those words exited from her smug and supercilious mug, Rosen realized what she’d done. She’d just shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand. She’d bombed Pearl Harbor. Or, to reduce it to terms any feminist could understand, she’d launched her own Teat Offensive.
I don’t need to waste much ink on explaining how mothers who stay at home with their children work as hard as, if not more than, their paid counterparts in Lily Ledbetter land. My own mother raised five children completely alone after my father died of cancer in 1982. She managed to produce three lawyers, one international marketing director and a physical therapist.
My best friend, a lawyer with a Law Review pedigree, took a detour from a high-powered career to be at home with her child-my godson-during his formative years.
My sister, that international marketing director I was just referring to, has taken time out of a thriving career to raise her three year old son and has produced, if I do say so myself, a genius of a child who brings an unexpected amount of jubilation to his aging relatives.
These are not just anecdotal success stories. This is real life, and these are the real women who populate the world that Hillary Rosen disdains (despite her feeble attempt at an apology.)
I’m actually quite grateful to Rosen for her comments. She’s given a public face to a certain kind of liberal who, while attempting to show just how misogynistic conservatives are with their so-called aversion to birth control and their ‘rape’ legislation, have a bit of a women-hating problem themselves. Only the type of woman they hate tends to run a house, not a law firm.
When I went to Bryn Mawr, they had a saying that always bothered me, but which I now realize is fairly representative of a certain leftist philosophy: “Our failures only marry.” Feminists of the Seven Sister order don’t have anything against marriage and babies. What they do resent is women who ‘just’ embrace the traditional feminine roles without also seeking Ph.Ds, Pulitzers or cabinet positions.
Liberals will always deny it when cornered, just as Rosen has done. But we women have been catching that subliminal message for the past fifty years, namely, you need to be paid in order to be praised. That’s one of the reasons that some of the ‘equal pay’ types used to try and quantify in actual dollars the amount of work stay-at-home Moms did, and then argued that it equaled the GDP of a third world country.
You might say that as a woman who never had children and who has spent the last 25 years of her life in the workforce I’m not exactly the type of person who should be picking up the mantle for stay-at-home Moms. You might be right.
Then again, as the daughter of a woman who made me the center of her life and in doing so, gave me the keys to the world, keeping quite isn’t an option.
Comments (72)
No argument from me. Nothing tougher than raising children.— lport- Being a parent is not easy. But lets be frank, don't you think Ann had a few maids, nannies, or au pairs? I hardly imagine parenthood was all that much of a struggle.— scoobysnacks
- I'm sure Ann did have a great deal of help but it's still the parent who instills character and values in a child. I do have a thought about what Hilary Rosen said. If she had kept her comment about Ann to Mitt's holding her out as a maven on the economy and women, there would be no story here. Mitt should keep his wife out of the campaign on issues like that. If he doesn't then he subjects her and himself to appropriate response. Rosen's mistake was leading with the stay at home comment and she was wrong in doing so.— lport
- Nice spin. While the comment came about as awkwardly as anything that Mitt Romney says. The point to all of this, is that many women don't have the option to stay at home and raise their children. Instead, they have to work full time jobs AND Raise their children. And While not having any anecdotal evidence, I'm willing to be that some of those children do end up being Lawyers and Marketing Directors. Meanwhile, Romney has no credibility when talking economic struggles and the republican party is struggling to connect with most woman, so he defers to his wife. She simply is not an expert on the subject having had the ability to raise her children without also having a full or part time job.— shamdog
- Agreed that Romney has no credibility about issues important to women. This despite the appearances this week when he surrounded himself with women and used his wife to comment on economic issues which I doubt she knows nothing about. I believe women will see through the present charade and ultimately evaluate Romney on his stated positions on important women issues. He will never overcome his statements made to satisfy the Republican base.— lport
- Sorry... about which I doubt she knows anything.— lport
- lport, your comment reads to me like Ann Romney, because she was a stay at home mom with a wealthy husband, cannot have an informed opinion on economic issues. So her having been at home strips her of the ability to read, watch the news, stay informed, be interested, keep up to speed? That seems more than a little unfair - to Ann Romney in particular, but to stay at home moms in general. Sorry if I'm misinterpretting your point.— sadim
- I have to laugh when I hear politicians argue about who has a better understanding of what the rest of us have to deal with. Let's be honest, the Obama's and the Romney's are all very wealth people who have absolutely no idea what it's like to live in the world they have created. My guess would be that Hilary Rosen, or any of the talking heads on TV have no idea either.— barlowjames1
- Sadim: Of course Ann can have an opinion. My point is that if you don't want her opinion challenged don't make her part of the campaign when it comes to issues. If she wants to talk about campaign issues then she is subject to questions about her opinions.— lport
- lport, that makes much more sense. Thanks for the response and clarification.— sadim
- There are two parts to this argument. One of course is the concept of the stay-at-home-mom and her "value" as a person. I have nothing but admiration for women who forgo any kind of career in favor of raising their children.
My mom also stayed at home until my twin and I were in high school. We always had a home to return to for lunch and playtime. Dad brought home the paycheck and extended family were around to help. It was the norm in our day.
But the other side which Iport and sadim have made is that those like Mrs. Romney (who btw also has suffered from cancer and multiple sclerosis) cannot relate to those who struggle economically. I think that was Rosen's point, even if she delivered it atrociously. And of course she was repudiated by both the Obamas who could not distance themselve fast enough.— Magistra - Really, Chris, how did you survive Bryn Mawr?— Magistra
- Oh, and three years old is a golden age for children. They are still able to need and cuddle with you and yet want to explore the whole world and make new contacts, especially with other children. Do enjoy every moment of this precious time.
And my own friends who are now grandmothers tell me there is no other love like the love for a grandchild. (Or a special nephew)
8-)— Magistra 
Comment removed.- Richard, no one here is spitting on anyone. What Rosen said was insensitive, no matter what her "true meaning" was. There was a subliminal suggestion that stay at home moms are somehow not as worthy as their working counterparts. I know, I know, she did not mean it to come out that way, but it sounded snide by any reckoning.
Everyone knows that women struggle every day to raise children sometimes with no means of support other than food stamps and welfare. And often through no fault of their own.
Romney unfortunately put his wife on the stage by telling people to ask her about how women feel. And Obama wisely said that it is an "unwritten" rule that you never go after a candidate's wife. (He should know.)
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- Amen, Christine. Thank you for articulating my feelings of frustration over this entire "war of women" contrivance. If we want to speak of wars, the Dems have drawn the gauntlet and sided with a "war on mothers." Let's see how that works out for them.
Maybe some of us do not define a "war on women" as thoughtful opposition to a policy that supports the distribution of free birth control. Perhaps, some of us feel that a couple's voluntary decision to have sex should not result in public money being allocated to prevent the birth of their children. Is that really so extreme??
As for the poor, we are now looking at supporting children in schools with free breakfast, lunch and dinner. What is lacking is parenting.
— Malamute Saloon - Malamute apologizes for the second paragraph which was inserted mistakenly, as it was in response to another article. In the future, Malamute pledges to post prior to the construction of his weekly, post-work, Friday night martini.— Malamute Saloon
- Richard, my self appointed role is to keep things balanced. (Part of my libra personality.) Christine can handle her own defense, but you have to admit that there is often piling on.
I get that there are people who are so privileged that they have little realization of how much others struggle. Ann Romney has had two severe health problems which do not discriminate. And don't forget, for all his right wing speeches, Romney did provide universal health care to his state.
I take exception to your comment that a childless person cannot possibly understand how mothers struggle. Anyone who was raised by a loving devoted mother has that concept. Christine is justifiably proud of how her widowed, devoted mother coped with five children. And she knows directly how it feels to help raise a nephew.
There is more than one way to be a mom.— Magistra - Orchestra guy, you and the Hilary Rosen lefties are the despicable ones. Keep up this revolting conduct through October, and November will be a big disappointment for you arrogant types. Candidates spouses are out of bounds. And Rosen's point is dead wrong. Obamaa+ never held a real job, never met a payroll, never created a job, and is the most economically illiterate person to hold the Presidency yet he opines and dictates on all types of economic issues. Keep it up. Please. And I wouldn't try to separate Rosen too much from the White House. She's been a WH visitor 35 times during Obamaa+'s reign of error, her PR firm did work promoting the Game Change movie and she's figuratively been in bed with the Fluke prop.— Thoughtful&concernedvoter
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- TCV - I have to say one thing more. It was after all Mr. Romney who put his wife's opinion under the spotlight. He should have kept her out of it. Unfortunately Rosen took the bait and made a fool of herself.
This will blow over I hope as much as all the social issues that are being used by both sides as a distraction.
Ta ta for now. 8-)— Magistra - OK, Richard, you insist on parsing this issue. I did not say that having parents is the SAME as having kids.
But having younger siblings that you watch grow up or young nephews or nieces on whom you dote, does give you an idea of how hard it is to raise children.
Really, who but the most obtuse would not understand that women who are on duty 24/7 are not making a sacrifice.
No one's perception of anything is exactly the same as another's. You have only to read some comments here and on the philly.com board to realize that.
But we can get a pretty good idea from just living as a family.— Magistra - Comment removed.
- May I have the last word? Since I am after a woman, a mother and a career teacher.
Christine may be 50 but I am over 70 and I recall as a young girl hearing the question: What will you be when you grow up, a mommy, a teacher or a nurse (or nun)?
Women were EXPECTED to stay home or to take jobs that were the extension of the home (teaching, nursing) if they chose to remain unmarried. Seriously, women teachers rarely married.
If you took a job, any job, it was understood that you did so until you found a man to support you and your future family. I remember unmarried women working their whole lives in dead end jobs. (I felt so sorry for the lady who sold movie tickets year after year.)
With women's liberation, the idea of working only temporarily was ended in favor of finding a self-fulfilling career and "having it all". For a woman to deliberately choose never to "find herself" or seek an identity outside the home meant that she was somehow culturally out of date.
In other words, she chose never to do meaningful work for pay. Even the social security laws made sure not to include her.
That is why Rosen's words, indirectly meant or not, were dumb.— Magistra - " I am after ALL a woman....etc"— Magistra
- @Hamblin "And I'm sorry, there is no equivalency between an Ann Romney's parenting problems and those of a a single mom working a job or two and trying to raise kids."
Really, no one could possibly take it that way. But the words themselves harkened back to the way things used to be and Rosen herself apologized for the offensive way it came across.
Perception is everything.
— Magistra 
Lily Ledbetter got screwed.- I pity poor Hamblin. All grown-up and still with a maturity of a 5 year-old, maybe not even that mature.
Vent, vent, vent, vent, type.
Poor Richard.
Richard, you have gone around on your merry-go-round and missed the realities of life.— PlumberJoe - PJ, remember your promise. We are here to argue politely.— Magistra
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- Richard, I do not wish anyone to disappear except those who attack the author relentlessly and viciously. Most of the time, you try to be fair and that is why I still talk to you.
PJ is just playing with you. This whole thing is for fun.
If I can take PJ's teasing, so can you.
8-)— Magistra - Comment removed.
- “ … the usual cast of professional conservative aggrievement mongers will be in high dudgeon proclaiming how stay-at-homeness has been slandered and impugned and maligned and how Hilary Rosen (and therefore all Democrats) might just as well have s h * t all over little Austin and Madisyn’s after-school Rice Krispie Treats. Because there is no greater calling than to stay at home and raise your children, providing of course that you don’t have to make ends meet by taking a minimum wage job, maybe two if you’re a single mom, and also there are those times when you skip a meal so that your kids can eat because there isn’t enough food for everyone, and also you hope that none of the kids gets sick because you can’t afford health insurance … well, you get the idea. Which was Hilary Rosen’s point. Ann Romney came from very comfortable circumstances, married into a wealthy family, and has never had to worry about having to leave the house to work precisely because her husband made a career of purchasing businesses, stripping them of their assets, and putting the employees out of work in return for exorbitant fees for a job well done. Ann Romney was diagnosed with MS when her sons were 28, 27, 24, 21, and 16 & she was diagnosed with breast cancer ten years later when the boys had presumably started careers on their own, no doubt trading on the family name & connections. Ann Romney was afforded the best medical care available for her terrible illnesses because her husband made a lot of money putting people out of work.This is not to say that Ann Romney can’t feel a great deal of empathy for the women whose problems she listens to on the campaign trail. And this is not to say that she doesn’t relay these stories to her husband. But by his words & by his deeds, whatever Ann is telling her husband doesn’t seem to carry much weight. It’s almost as if Mitt doesn’t want to hear it. Or maybe he doesn’t take her seriously; like she’s a common housewife or something…” tbogg— B Beal 19146
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- Richard, those aren't my words, but I certainly thought that post from tbogg captured the absurd responses from the right (btw Rosen is no Liberal, though she may have a D after her name - she's a parasite, who was quite inarticulate here). Since Flowers and others are ignoring the point of what Rosen was saying to try to twist the denigration of women on to liberals: Mitt Romney is out of touch with the economic issues facing women, and stating that his wife was his is primary source of economic pulse shows that. Now, my personal upbringing, I was fortunate that my mother could stay at home until the last if her 5 children were in HS. Many would say that was the norm back then (late 60's-late 70's), but many women in my NE neighborhood held down jobs (at Sears, NE shopping Center, Hospitals), many on 2nd shifts. But if we're being honest here, today, stay at home is a luxury for the financially secure, and Ann Romney more than represents that - Rosen wasn't disparaging Ann, she was calling out Mitt, accurately, for his woeful disconnect with females on the economy. — B Beal 19146
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- Look, we can go round and round about this all week. Everyone admits that Rosen was at the very least clumsy in her statements. She admits it herself and apologized profusely, even while being badgered by Wolff Blitzer to face the camera.
The response to such clumsy rhetoric was predictable. But it will not change the election because the person who said those words is not running for office and does not represent the president.
Hope all have a happy weekend.— Magistra - Orchestra Guy once again showed his true crass and classless colors by wishing death upon a conservative, i.e. PJ. Looks like he beat sophistry to the punch. Hilary Rosen’s alleged profuse apologies lacked sincerity, as did the throwing of her under the bus by other DEMOCRAT operatives. This nonsense about not being capable of having a legitimate or insightful opinion on a topic because you haven’t walked in the shoes of someone about whose condition you’re opining is garbage. This principle hasn't prevented our spectacularly inexperienced POTUS from implementing polices, although most of them are bad ones. And he certainly has not shied away from expressing his demagoguery. And Orchestra Guy, you have completely overlooked the good (new jobs, new businesses, etc.) that Romney’s business experience has generated. You’ve also overlooked how the incompetent policies of POTUS have impacted on employment and food stamp usage.— Thoughtful&concernedvoter
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- Stay at home moms and their defenders are holier-than-thou and always looking for a fight (sort of like Flowers herself--ironic since she is not a mother and should have no say in the matter at all). As Aristotle aptly noted, and this is a paraphrase, the only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. Mitt brought on the criticism of Ann. She is a sharp, together woman, but since I have had both cancer and MS and worked the whole time while raising three kids, I don't think she's some saint or especially remarkable. She likely also had five nannies to help raise those kids; I doubt they kept her up all night and of course, she didn't have to race home to make hamburger helper after working a nine hour day and picking her kids up from three different daycares or schools.
The "right" twisted Rosen's words. Sure, Rosen should know better than to ever bring up SAHDs, but those of us with sense know exactly what she meant and refuse (because we are decent people) to demonize her.
Hard to believe Christine didn't "fail" by BM standards. After all, she is so closed-minded, so reactionary, so old-lady-like.— sophistry - Last sentence typo alert. Seriously, can you not at least self edit?— sophistry
The Truth, as best as I can-
#1) Ann Romney is a woman. Raised 5 kids. Is a good mother. Loves her husband. Is loved by her husband. Has combated 2 life threatening illnesses. Loves her country. Is a good speaker. Is highly intelligent.
#2) Hilary Rosen made a boo-boo. Half-apologized. Created a stir.
#3) A candidate's wife is off limits for political slurs. A candidate's children are off limits for political slurs.
#4) Ann Romney will be Mitt Romney's best weapon in his campaign for the presidency.
#5) Hamblin is a big baby. Hamblin's orchestra is threatening to quit.
— PlumberJoe- PJ - Good points. And I think this is already becoming old news.
Now, if you are still talking to me, hear this. I am resigning as refereee between you and Hamblin.
Knock yourselves out.
8-)
— Magistra - Hi Magistra, the top of the morning to you.
Don't resign. We will double your pay. This is an easy skirmish to referee. Imagine what it would be if you were out on the ice with the Flyers.
Hamblin and I are just having fun. You said so. Hamblin said so. And now I say so. If you quit and his orchestra quits, what will he have left????— PlumberJoe - PJ, I truly believe that the Flyers would be a snap to handle compared to some of the rough checking on this board.
Maybe I will audition for Phillies manager. Can't be worse than they are now.
Men!!!!
— Magistra - Dumber, it's simple to "referee" you and Richard. Your job is to shut your annoying pie hole and go away. Richard can keep on being a decent and insightful poster who keeps CF accountable for her blow-hard tendencies. That's all I ask: that people not be blind or stupid, that they think before mindlessly accepting CF's weird and outdated ideas.— sophistry
- sophy, no one is listening to you. Not even Hamblin. — PlumberJoe
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- PJ - you and Hamblin are both welcome to express your ideas on this board. You are big boys and should be able to handle a little razing.
Enjoy your ham sandwich and the sunshine of a brilliant Sunday.
8-)— Magistra - Magistra, "razing" is what I formerly did to Hamblin, knocked him down to the ground.
"Razzing" is my new niche.
Until the Affordable Health Care Act becomes affordable, I do not want to send him to the hospital.— PlumberJoe - Correction: a ham sandwich on wry.
And this time, I did not misspell.
;-)— Magistra - Hamblin says, "Meet the Romneys: Parasites, predators, leeches."
Hamblin you are an idiot. A complete and total fool. And I am not joking this round.— PlumberJoe - Comment removed.
- Meet Hamblins' mom- parasite, predator, leech.
How funny is that, Hamblin?????— PlumberJoe - Comment removed.
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- Keep trying, Hamblin. You look more stupid with each attempt. — PlumberJoe
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- The point, Hamblin, just in case you missed it, as you usually do, is that you brought Ann Romney into your sarcastic remarks.
You just can't get it. She is off limits. Even your president said so.
You are dumber than dirt. That puts you at the sophy level.— PlumberJoe - Comment removed.
- Hamblin, THE CONVERSATION REACHED THE LOW POINT when you said, "Meet the Romneys: Parasites, predators, leeches."
Squirm, wiggle, you cannot escape that fact. It is here for all to see.
Why don't you blame it on Bush, your president would.— PlumberJoe - Hamblin, I am out of here before Christine puts us both in jail for ignorant prattle.
Grow up. We shall meet again. I hope it is on friendlier terms.— PlumberJoe - Comment removed.
- Now that video has been found from a few months ago where Romney said he wanted to make mothers go back to work so they could have the "dignity of a job," you can count on them shutting up about Rosen's comment. I look forward to Ms. Flowers blog condemning Mitt Romney for not believing that being a stay-at-home mom is dignified. Perhaps she could contact Mrs. Romney for her reaction to how her husband feels about her undignified life.— Ed G
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- Hamlin, keep the peace pipe handy, but I do encourage you to first understand the context of Romney's statements, before you go off half cocked.
If you still need help to digest it after you have reheard the speech, then note your issues and I will explain the Romney context and message.
You have misunderstood, deliberately or otherwise is immaterial.— PlumberJoe
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See Christine Flowers on Channel 6's "Inside Story" Sunday at 11:30 a.m.
Christine M. Flowers
Daily News Columnist
Email Christine M. at cflowers1961@yahoo.com Reach Christine M. at cflowers1961@yahoo.com.
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