Sunday, April 20, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Don't Anger the Breast Goddess

Any attacks on her must be nippled in the bud

Don't Anger the Breast Goddess

0 comments

The Lactivists are at it again, making sure that anyone who insults the She-Goddess Mammary be severely punished.

Like the pagans of Soddom and Got-Milka?,  Lactivists worship at the altar of the Sacred Breast, and wage war against anyone who has the audacity to worship false deities like Enfamil, Simulac and the dreaded Lipil.

Whenever they see anyone employing the tools of these heretical religions, like rubber nipples or plastic bottles, they rise up and smite the infidel.

They sue anyone, like Starbucks, for example, that has the audacity to prevent them from breastfeeding in public, seeing this as an infringement of their right to religious (and litigious) freedom.

They intimidate mothers who, for whatever reason, choose not to give junior the teat treat.

And they attack well-meaning daddies who show up in anti-smoking ads feeding their little babies with….get ready for the exorcism!....a bottle.

This sad, recent episode took place in New Zealand, where a soccer player posed for a photograph with his little girl in a campaign against smoking.  In the ad, Piri Weepu talks about how he’ll never smoke again because he has children in the house…one of whom is…horror of horrors..DRINKING FROM A BOTTLE.

The La Leche League in New Zealand went ballistic and forced the ad to be withdrawn.

And so, the sensitive faithful were spared the apocalyptic sight of a father loving his child.

Praise be to the Goddes!

 

0 comments
 
comments powered by Disqus
About this blog
See Christine Flowers on Channel 6's "Inside Story" Sunday at 11:30 a.m.

Email Christine M. at cflowers1961@yahoo.com Reach Christine M. at cflowers1961@yahoo.com.

Christine M. Flowers Daily News Columnist
Also on Philly.com
Stay Connected