‘Stephen Colbert’ is dead. Long live Stephen Colbert.
The future host of The Late Show stopped by The Daily Show last night to let us know that, saying in character that he’s leaving TV to “ride the rails” alongside a hooker “with a hard of hold” and a “wily mouse.” But not because of any bad blood—you see, there’s just nothing left for the guy to do.
“It’s become clear to me that I’ve won television,” Colbert said to Daily Show host Jon Stewart. “You see, Jon, almost nine years ago I promised to change the world and together, I did it.”
Stewart, for his part, pleaded with Colbert to stay on television, saying that he “head David Letterman is retiring.” Unfortunately, though, as Colbert noted, “they already gave the part to some fat guy.”