Top ten reasons Andy Rooney is retiring

The '60 Minutes' sage in his younger years

 If you’re like me, you were probably shocked when you learned that 60 Minutes savant Andy Rooney was hanging up his spats. Not because it seemed in any way premature. Quite the contrary. But because you were amazed to find out he was still on the program, chipping in his superfluous little postscripts week after week.

“Have you heard about these moving stairs? They call ‘em escalators. I hate ‘em!” He’s like the cranky old man from Up.

Leave it to The Late Show with David Letterman to put Rooney’s retirement in riotous perspective as they did on last night’s Top Ten list. I don’t want to give away any of the gags. Just watch the video (below).

There's a rumor that Rooney is donating his eyebrows to the Smithsonian.

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