Somebody please explain the rules of Dancing with the Stars to me again, because I’m getting really confused. In this All-Star season, we’ll go weeks without anyone being eliminated. Then they’ll combine scores in ways that make no mathematical sense to me at all. And Tom Bergeron, you’re not helping!
Take last night. Please! Fun evening overall, with musical performances by Jason Mraz and the ineffable Taylor Swift. And there was some wild decadent Marie Antoinette masters of dance number. But it all came down to this result:
Sabrina Bryan and Louis van Amstel get the hook with Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff standing trembling on the precipice. What you have to understand is that both those couples had perfect 30s the night before. That’s right: 10s straight across the board.
And they were the dancers on the brink. Not the lowest scoring Emmitt Smith or Kelly Monaco who trailed him by a half point. Or of course Kirstie Alley. No, because madness rules. Day is night. And if you’re not stumbling, you’re not dancing.