Oscars: Shut up and dance?

Three minutes, 26 seconds.

That's how long Cirque du Soleil got to interpret the moviegoing experience for an audience of millions of people who, we presume, have at least a passing interest in film, since they've stuck with the Oscars this long tonight.

How long did supporting actress winner Octavia Spencer of "The Help" get for what host Billy Crystal called a "moment [that is]...what the Oscars are all about?

According to my colleague Molly Eichel, who's running a stop-watch tonight, it was 46.81 seconds.

Sure, there's no way of predicting moments and God forbid the Oscars should someday end a few minutes early. Thus the useless production numbers.

Still, if there's anything we take away from this most bloated of awards shows, it's usually something said or done by a person who's just won the biggest award of his or her  career. And rushing that person off stage just so we can be reminded yet again why going to the movies is such a special thing makes no sense at all.