Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Sufjan Stevens corrects Miley Cyrus' grammar, calls her "hottest cake in the pan"

"Live brightly before your fire fades into total darkness."

Sufjan Stevens corrects Miley Cyrus' grammar, calls her "hottest cake in the pan"

Recording artist Miley Cyrus attends an album release signing event, on Tuesday, Oct. 8, 2013, at Planet Hollywood in New York. (Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP)
Recording artist Miley Cyrus attends an album release signing event, on Tuesday, Oct. 8, 2013, at Planet Hollywood in New York. (Photo by Andy Kropa/Invision/AP) Andy Kropa/Invision/AP

Finally, an Open Letter to Miley Cyrus that's not full of itself.

And funny. As reported by Consequence Of Sound, indie rock Renaissance Man Sufjan Stevens joined the crowd in addressing Cyrus this morning. He urged her to "live brightly before your fire fades into total darkness" and took issue  with her grammar on the Pharrell Williams-produced song "#GETITRIGHT," while forgiving her mistakes and noting that they matched ones he says William Faulkner made in As I Lay Dying.

The full letter is here:

Dear Miley. I can’t stop listening to #GetItRight (great song, great message, great body), but maybe you need a quick grammar lesson. One particular line causes concern: “I been laying in this bed all night long.” Miley, technically speaking, you’ve been LYING, not LAYING, an irregular verb form that should only be used when there’s an object, i.e. “I been laying my tired booty on this bed all night long.” Whatever. I’m not the best lyricist, but you know what I mean. #Get It Right The Next Time. But don’t worry, even Faulkner messed it up. We all make mistakes, and surely this isn’t your worst misdemeanor. But also, Miley, did you know the tense here is also totally wrong. Surely you’ve heard of Present Perfect Continuous Tense (I HAVE BEEN LYING in this bed all night long [hopefully getting some beauty sleep?]). It’s a weird, equivocal, almost purgatorial tense, not quite present, not quite past, not quite here, not quite there. Somewhere in between. I feel that way all the time. It kind of sucks. But I have a feeling your “present perfect continuous” involves a lot more excitement than mine. Anyway, doesn’t that also sum up your career right now? Present. Perfect. Continuous. And Tense. Intense? Girl, you work it like Mike Tyson. Miley, I love you because you’re the Queen, grammatically and anatomically speaking. And you’re the hottest cake in the pan. Don’t ever grow old. Live brightly before your fire fades into total darkness. XXOO Sufjan

With the holidays just around the corner, can a Miley-Sufjan Xmas duet be far behind? "#GETITRIGHT" is below.

Previously: Janelle Monae at the Electric Factory Follow In The Mix on Twitter

Dan DeLuca Inquirer Music Critic
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Dan DeLuca Inquirer Music Critic
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