It's been six weeks since NBA player Ryan Anderson found his beautiful reality TV star girlfriend, Gia Allemand, unconscious in her apartment.
But the New Orleans Pelicans forward is grappling with his deepest, darkest waves of grief following her death.
Anderson, who was the one to discover the former Bachelor contestant, 29, on Aug. 12 after she attempted to take her own life by hanging herself, broke down before reporters during a team media day on Monday, the Times-Picayune reports.
"Every day is a challenge," Anderson said in his first public interview since Allemand's death. "It helps to be here. My family's with me. To be here with my teammates really helps a lot, but it's a roller-coaster."
While he was able to maintain his composure at first, Anderson slowly broke down as he thought of his late girlfriend:
" 'Something like that just doesn't happen for no reason,' he rationalized, 'and I know that ... there's ... a huge plan here .... ' His voice faded. Tears began to fall"- the moment recollected by writer Jimmy Smith.
Anderson, who in the interview touched on his faith and healing path, revealed he's currently working on a foundation to remember Allemand. "A lot of people are going to be helped from this. And ... we're in the process of starting something great for her with her family, including my family, too."
Anderson's teammates, meanwhile, are offering their support to the basketball player who's currently coping with immense personal burdens. Jason Smith said the forward is "doing a lot better."
"I think that it's something that's going to be difficult throughout the year," Smith continued. "He knows we're all here for him. He's addressed the team a couple of times and I think going forward, we just have to be there for him any way he needs it."
Monty Williams added, "I think he's relying on his faith and he's got some really good people around him that have helped him a lot. But I think he's done a phenomenal job. There's no manual for all this stuff. Everybody's learning on the fly."
The return to normalcy, whatever that entails, has been a difficult one for both Anderson and Allemand's mother, Donna Micheletti, who revealed to Dr. Phil last month that she was on the phone with her daughter when Gia took her own life.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).