Apocalypse now: 'Jersey Shore' cast to go
MTV plans to let go of the original cast of 'Jersey Shore' after the sixth season
Apocalypse now: ‘Jersey Shore’ cast to go
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
In a revelation that has shocked us to the very Ground of Being, MTV has decided that the original cast of its post-bac humanities distance college course, Jersey Shore, will be ousted after the reality series’ sixth season next year.
That means, for those readers with Jersey Shore-sized IQs, that if the show comes back for a seventh season, it will not feature Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino or even Jenni “JWoww” Farley, the three human beings who have made our lives worth living.
Yes, I’m afraid it’s Situation Critical in Seaside Heights!
In Touch Weekly says the dread news was first conveyed to the cast and crew last week when they showed up at the shore to begin shooting what will be their final season. (The season will have the pregnant Snooki living in a separate home of her own.)
“An executive producer announced that this season will be the last,” Anonymous “insider” tells In Touch.
“She stressed to the cast that fans will remember them for this season, not the first, so they should bring their A game.”
The source says the cast did not let on they were sad. ““They decided to make the most of their final days at the Shore,” said the source.
We know better.
We know the show’s supporting players Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio and his pals Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Deena “No Nickname” Cortese and Vinny Guadagnino are shattered. We know they weep within.
Yet it’s a testament to their fortitude, their spirit, their esprit de corps that they don’t let on just how hurt they are.
And what of Jersey Shore’s top stars, that most honorable triumvirate of pre-Mensa heroes, that trinity of sex, booze and bad grammar? We think they’ll move on to bigger and better things.
The Situation for president! We say.
Good Ridance to bad rubbish......— nuggett- trash...
— USAFirst1 - Someone please drop a bomb on their house.... PLEASE!— elfman
- How about getting rid of the show entirely? Anyone else remember when MTV played music videos?— Mr. Brightside
- Goodbye and go get a REAL JOB!!!!— MikeOct20
- Say what you will about the show...but that J-Wow really does it for me.— Trashcan_Man
- These people are fantastic. Just fantastic.— Reggie Noble
- Garbage out. Hopefully forever. Now they can check into the correct clinics to get their multiple STDs checked out.— Bruno Sammartino
- @Mr. Brightside, and here I thought the "M" stood for "Mindless"
— Chad Sexington - I'm going to be sad to see Wooki go...— CrankZappa
Don't worry about Snooki. I'm sure the birth will go seamlessly. I can tell that she's very wide set and quite loose, so the baby will slide out like butter.— EGGHEAD.
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- Let's start a poll...........which of the morons will go bankrupt first and when. "Can I give you fries with that?"— Unstable1
- Sadly, Snooki and her baby. Since this announcement her David Letterman appearances will be cancelled. She has no special talent to sustain herself or her lifestyle. A woman with a jacked-up body type like her invariably turns into a possum when she turns thirty. She will surely mismanage the money she has within five years. "The Situation" will stop loaning her money. Her book will end up at Dollar Tree. She'll try a career revival and get ripped-off by LaToya Jackson's ex-manager. She'll end up sharing a Section 8 two-bedroom in Camden with Octomom. — EGGHEAD.
