Ashton Kutcher moves out? Demi Moore to file for divorce?!
As reports pile up about Demi Moore's husband, Ashton Kutcher's alleged adulterous orgy, a glossy tabloid claims the actor has left his matrimonial home.
Ashton Kutcher moves out? Demi Moore to file for divorce?!
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
A glossy tabloid claims Ashton Kutcher, 33, has fled his matrimonial home, a report that comes on the heels of a growing tsunami of rumors (do tsunamis have heels?) that 48-year-old G.I. Jane star Demi Moore’s son, er, husband marked his sixth wedding anniversary last weekend by holding an adulterous saturnalia the likes of which haven’t been since Caligula (whose parties are immortalized in Penthouse founder, the late Bob Guccione’s documentary, Caligula).
Life & Style Weekly reports that the Dude, Where’s My Car? star – who reportedly has morphed into a Dude, Where’s my Latest Hot Naked Adulterous Chic? star – has abandoned his beloved wife, the light of his life, the keeper of his flame, the apple of his eye, and removed himself from the (no-doubt luxurious) domestic setting where they have made a life since they wed on that hallowed of all Demi-days, Sept. 24, 2005.
Their union was even blessed by Demi's ex-husband, Die Hard bruiser Bruce Willis. What's more, Ashton was welcomed with open arms by the Willis-Demi children, Tallulah Belle, Rumer and Scout Willis. Heck, Ashton and Scout even made a lil' music video together. Do the Willises feel betrayed?
That dasterardly Dashton-destroying sex party ...
The report comes hours after Star magazine published photos allegedly taken at the orgy.
Reportedly, the Sept. 24 event, which had Ashton allegedly interact with three women, was held in a $2,500-a-night suite at the San Diego Hard Rock Hotel.
An Anonymous Source cited in an Us Weekly story says "within five minutes [of entering the suite], they were all naked in the hot tub, making out!"
The incriminating photos are prominently displayed on the cover of the new Star mag. A banner headline reads, “Demi & Ashton: The Photos that ended their marriage!”
A teaser promises “17 World Exclusive Photos” inside.
The cover photos feature (a fully clothed) Ashton, sporting a short beard and a hepster fedora sitting at the edge of what looks like a white tub, holding court with three scantily-clad yet-decent-enough-for-publication-purposes women. (They seem to be wearing bikinis.)
One photo shows one of the women using what looks like a plastic water pipe, known by those hepcat stoner types as a bong. The caption reads, “Ashton’s lover keeps partying.”
One of the women, Sara Leal, 23, allegedly told a friend (in rather strange phrasing) that she “100 percent” had sex with Ashton during the so-called “Naked Hot Tub Hoedown.
Why won't they issue a statement?
There has been nary a peep from either Ashton or Demi, except for a few cryptic tweets from Ahston, including this one from Monday:
Let's take a moment to reflect
Take a seceond and look at this boy here.
Would such a sweet-looking boy really engage in meaningless, soul-crushing orgies?
He seems more in need of a tender mother figure (ahem) than naked fluff-heads. (Though, to be honest, we've never envisioned Demi as all that tender. Maybe she is. So much mystery ...)
Why, we ask? Why, Ashton, have you reduced yourself to Charlie Sheen-hoodian shenanigans?
Why?!
Moment's over. Now that w're back in touch with your feelings, we wonder about Demi's. Did she cry when he left (if the report is true that he left ...)? We imagine she did.
Perhaps she's crying because deep, deep down she knew that so-called "cougar couples" never survive for long.
Heck, perhaps she’s laughing, giggling, teeheeing. Probably not.
Or perhaps she’s getting totally blotto (drunk).
… that’s right, folks, there are reports Ashton left Demi because he was sick of her heavy drinking. Others claim the Bunraku star, who has been sober for decades following a bout with substance abuse, has fallen off the wagon as a consequence of her marital problems.
This is sad but could have been avoided had Demi focused more on her daughters than on ego-driven pursuits. How else could it have turned out - despite the youthful body, Kaballah devotion and mutual "Real Men Don't Buy Women" cause. The Kutcher's involvement in that particular cause especially now seems highly ironic. Calculating even on Demi's part. Well . . . it didn't work. Control never does.
who CARES?????? this is not news.— psualum
Comment removed.- Demi, you should have known, evenually he would get someone younger, your 47 and he's 32. What if he wants babies, your to old, get some one in your age group, (cougar).— mookie4295
- those women are seriously smokin!!!!! Go AK— Chemist1524
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- JID. I think you missed the joke -- I think he was making fun of tabloid sensationalism. I think I'll take a nap.— Roger Podacter
- and this is news because.........? And to the publicity for 2 1/2 men comment.... Ummm why? How is this publicity for that show? Why would him breaking up with his mother make me want to watch the tv show that he's on? I can tell you I DON'T want to watch 2 1/2 men because simply because Ashton Kutcher is now on it and he couldnt act his way out of a paper bag and he's just not funny— philliekev04
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- Demi is looking old. i'd leave too.— Tyrone Biggums
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- If this is a surprise to anyone (including the couple themselves) I would be surprised. Don't make so much issue about age. How many Hollywood couples, even born on the same day, make it for this long?— gotedge
- If this is a surprise to anyone (including the couple themselves) I would be surprised. Don't make so much issue about age. How many Hollywood couples, even born on the same day, make it for this long?— gotedge
- ...and gay marriage is an issue? Laughable!— ehpvirgo
