Ashton Kutcher unsubscribes from Demi!

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Ashton and Demi during happier times

The Inquirer’s Dashton Desk is a flutter with activity and anguish – much, much Teutonic Angst over here – at the latest development in the (rumored) Ashton Kutcher-Demi Moore marriage break-up situation.

RadarOnline reports that the 671 people that Ashton follows on Twitter no longer – oh no! – include his beloved wife. (Ashton is @aplusk on Twitter, while his wife’s handler is @mrskutcher.)

This means, as Radar perspicaciously puts it, that Ashton has totally broken up with Demi – at least on Twitter, if not in real life.

What’s weird, Radar says, is that it appears Demi “unfollowed” Ashton also – but for on for a while. She recently began to “follow” him again.

How do we know?  Radar explains: “when you subscribe to and “follow” someone’s profile, they show up on your profile under your list of ‘Following’ in the exact order that you began following them, with the most recent near the top.”

Gossipers continue to assert that Dashton’s marriage has been dashed (ahem) on a particularly nasty, destructive rock (or rather Siren) named Sara Leal. She reportedly had carnal relations with and thus acquired Carnal Knowledge of Ashton – and on Dashton’s sixth wedding anniversary (ouch!).

Neither party has commented. Ashton did tweet this enigmatic note: "When you ASSUME to know that which you know nothing of you make an [beep] out of U and ME"

Weep over the Dashton breakup with this sweet video montage from a Demi fan showing the breadth and depth of Ashton and Demi's oh-so-fragile love.