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Sunday, February 15, 2009

I had dinner with a friend of mine the other night and she was telling me a story about a woman she works with whose husband suddenly left her. "Out of the nowhere", the friend said. And of course these things are very rarely out of nowhere, but they often feel that way. But while my friend was going on with the story, half of my brain was musing over that phrase. Out of nowhere was what happened to me 30 years ago when a tire crushed my car. Out of nowhere is what happens when we find a lump or hear any tragic news. So in the middle of her story, I blurt out "I hate that place". Of course she is well into the story and has no idea what I'm talking about. So when she asks what place I am referring to I said "that nowhere place where things just seem to happen."

Okay so now she's giving me a strange look that I often get when I blurt things like that out, but she is a nice person so she invited me to develop my thought.

And then I realized that "out of nowhere" is where all things happen, good and bad. It's not just about tumors and divorces. Out of nowhere is where we fall in love. But the truth is we all live right there where none of us have any idea about what's coming around the corner. We tell ourselves we do and that tomorrow will look pretty much like yesterday and we find some comfort in that. But that's an illusion.

And my final thought on the topic was when I realized that nowhere place was really everywhere.

At that point she just sighed and wondered what it was like living inside my mind. I told her I keep having these thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere

Posted by Dan Gottlieb @ 7:54 PM  Permalink | File Under: Random observations | 1 comment
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  • 0 like this / 0 don't   •   Posted 4:48 PM, 03/02/2009
    I love that you said, "I hate that place..." I am a therapist, and learned something wonderful from a mentor, who would ask, "what if there were no coincidences?" That would always make me think, and it still does. If there truly are no coincidences, if there is really NOT a "nowhere," we can begin to think about the meaning of events in our lives. Gwen
    GwenO


1 comments
About Dan Gottlieb
Dan Gottlieb is a psychologist and marital therapist and has been in practice nearly 40 years. His career started in community mental health and substance abuse until his accident in 1979 made him a quadriplegic.

Since that time, he has been in private practice. Since 1985, he has been hosting a radio show called "Voices in the Family" on WHYY FM, Philadelphia's NPR affiliate. He was a regular columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer from 1994 until 2008. He is also the author of four books.

www.drdangottlieb.com

Voices In The Family on WHYY

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