Ethics of leaving a marriage

A friend of mine was in an abusive (physically and verbally) marriage. AFTER the husband suffered brain injury in an accident, she discovered there was infidelity and other lies. The husband can no longer hurt her due to his injuries, he also does not remember the past. She is considering divorce. What would you tell her?

Your response will be greatly appreciated.


obviously I would need much more information and I would need it from this woman in order to explore what is best for her physically, psychologically, ethically and spiritually. So without that all I can say is what Hippocrates said: "first do no harm". So if she does leave him, make sure he receives the care he needs. And in order for her to be more comfortable inside of her skin, she needs to find compassion for both this man and herself. Both are victims and both have experienced their lives as being out of control. Granted, one did unconscionable things with those emotions that got out of control, but now she is at least safe enough to experience some modicum of care.

And this gets down to the simple fact that there are no rights and wrongs here, just decisions and consequences. If she stays, she is at risk for compromising her life in order to take care of a man who has harmed her. If she leaves, she might feel great guilt for the rest of her life. So if she stays, I hope she does so from a position of conscious choice. And if she leaves, I hope she does everything in her power to make his life comfortable so as to diminish that potential guilt.

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