Sunday, July 13, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

harsh self judgement

A follow up question to your column on harsh self judgment: how do we learn to differentiate between inappropriate self criticism and the genuine need for self evaluation. I have never been able to find a satisfactory way to do a quick review of how I handled a certain situation without being extremely critical of myself. Ardmore, PA

harsh self judgement

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A follow up question to your column on harsh self judgment: how do we learn to differentiate between inappropriate self criticism and the genuine need for self evaluation. I have never been able to find a satisfactory way to do a quick review of how I handled a certain situation without being extremely critical of myself.
Ardmore, PA

there are no hard rules about this, but if you find that you are beating yourself up when you evaluate your behavior, it's pretty safe to say you are on the wrong track.  Any review of your behavior should be done with compassion.  You must trust that you are a good person and performing best you can.  And that if you are not performing best you can, there are very real reasons why you have not.  So a self-evaluation should not feel harsh, it should feel constructive.

Dan Gottlieb
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About this blog
Dan Gottlieb is a psychologist and marital therapist and has been in practice nearly 40 years. His career started in community mental health and substance abuse until his accident in 1979 made him a quadriplegic.

Since that time, he has been in private practice. Since 1985, he has been hosting a radio show called "Voices in the Family" on WHYY FM, Philadelphia's NPR affiliate. He was a regular columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer from 1994 until 2008. He is also the author of four books.

www.drdangottlieb.com

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