Thursday, August 28, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

More on adult children

More on adult children

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Adult Children and Gifts
Q: Glad to hear you will be addresssing questions from parents of adult children tomorrow. I look forward to it.

I'm 62 and single now. My son is 25 and my and three step-daughters are in their 20's.

I think part of my problem is that I hated the Family Requirements my parents imposed on me, and I went to the other extreme when I was a parent. I still don't want my kids to feel obligated or guilty about anything, so when holidays come there may or may not be time together or presents from them. This does hurt at my birthday and Mother's Day.

I can see that I could open a dialogue with them about what we want to create together as adults.
Devon, PA

 

Of course opened, honest dialogue is good no matter who we are talking with. Our children want to know our truth no matter what age they are.  They want to know our dreams and fears, what makes us happy and what hurts us.  And they want us to know that about them.  Most of us devote a great deal of energy protecting them from our "real feelings".  And we wind up protecting them from intimacy and honesty.  Look forward to " seeing " you tomorrow!  On the web chat tomorrow

Dan Gottlieb
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About this blog
Dan Gottlieb is a psychologist and marital therapist and has been in practice nearly 40 years. His career started in community mental health and substance abuse until his accident in 1979 made him a quadriplegic.

Since that time, he has been in private practice. Since 1985, he has been hosting a radio show called "Voices in the Family" on WHYY FM, Philadelphia's NPR affiliate. He was a regular columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer from 1994 until 2008. He is also the author of four books.

www.drdangottlieb.com

Voices In The Family on WHYY

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