Beach, No Beach, Beach

Ah, us. Jersey Shorists. We take what nature, and the dogged municipal sand movers with a little Army Corps thrown in, give us. Sometimes the tide, and all the natural and human influences, give us a nice big beach. Sometimes, it taketh away and we jam ourselves right up against the Boardwalk and then under, and then behind. But that does not stop our fun now, does it? No it does not. The unrelenting heat, on the other hand, is a drag. Not so bad when the breeze is off the ocean and the ocean registers up in the high 70s. So bad when the breeze shifts to be blowing in from the dreaded mainland (a.k.a., "offshore") and brings in heavy, hot air, bad moods and biting flies. How do you tell a land breeze? When you're sitting on the beach and all is kinda ok, and then you slowly start to take notice of a rising misery level that goes from vaguely annoying to soul-killing and your brain says to you: TIME TO GO. That's the wind shifting to a land breeze. (The opposite, when you're hot as heck and uncomfortable and then all of a sudden, you stop and take notice of a cool draft of air wicking at your skin and you can breath again, and the ocean winks at you and you decide all things are possible, that you may just need to finish that novel, it's like nature, like the bartender at Roberts, handing you an ice cold Corona - that's the wind shifting from a land breeze to an ocean breeze.) As of today, according to reports, the stultifying air produced bone-chilling ocean temps. That's gotta hurt everyone but the ice cream man. Locals are taking surgical strike visits to the beach, going in for a dip to lower the body temperature and then retreating back inside. Intrepid vacationers take what they get and, again, make the best of it. Plant that chair in the water and you don't have to worry about the eroding beach as much anyway. Lots of luck out there!

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