Find a husband before you graduate?
I'm back from a one-week furlough and wondering what everyone thinks about that controversial letter to the editor penned to the student newspaper at Princeton University. In the op-ed piece, written by Susan A. Patton, a 1977 graduate of the school, she warns female to students to look for a husband while they're still undergraduates.
Find a husband before you graduate?
Jenice Armstrong, Daily News Columnist
I’m back from a one-week furlough and wondering what everyone thinks about that controversial letter to the editor penned to the student newspaper at Princeton University. In the op-ed piece, written by Susan A. Patton, a 1977 graduate of the school, she warns female to students to look for a husband while they’re still undergraduates.
“For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you. Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate. Yes, I went there.”
The mother and a Princeton grad herself, Patton added, “Smart women can’t (shouldn’t) marry men who aren’t at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again — you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.”
"Of course, once you graduate, you will meet men who are your intellectual equal — just not that many of them. And, you could choose to marry a man who has other things to recommend him besides a soaring intellect. But ultimately, it will frustrate you to be with a man who just isn’t as smart as you."
Yes, this all sounds mind numbingly retro. College should be a time to explore your options – not fixate on snagging your Mrs. degree. But for women, for whom marriage and children are primary, maybe Patton has a point. I grudgingly admit that after listening to Patton explain herself on CNN last night. She pointed out how many young women spend their entire twenties focusing on education and career and then at 30, that's all they have accomplished.
I certainly wound up in that position having prioritized career over family but everything worked out just fine. During my twenties, I traveled extensively, worked for a number of newspapers around the country and spent years figuring out who I was and what I wanted before I ever gave serious thought to settling down. I got married nearly a decade ago - to a Princetonian, I might add, and am thrilled. My sister married her college boyfriend a year after graduation and also has had an amazing life and three adorable children.
Maybe certain women would do well to heed Patton's off-putting advice about being serious about relationships early on. Others, though, should ignore it like the plague lest they get off track. My point is that there's no one-size-fits-all answer to how to get it right.
Is this why we have 50 percent divorce rate? Utter silliness. I expected more from an Ivy League graduate.— msmame- Is silliness bad? — Falls Ed
- "As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are." Well, when you have that attitude about others from the start (and yes, the Ivy League schools do), I can see why you might have a problem meeting someone to share your life with. I can see what Patton is trying to accomplish, but her end result was to simply reinforce the Princeton stereotype.— Yoda117
- Maybe these Princeton women graduates have problems finding intelligent husbands is because most intelligent men want to marry pretty women.— farley
- Hey, it worked for my wife. We met in college. I work all day and she sits around doing nothing, except to go play tennis and golf.— Moe_Syzlak
- This lady sounds more like an intellectual airhead to me and this Philly.com for even publishing this garbage and me being suckered into reading it.What kinda freaks are Ivy league colleges putting out anymore. Princeton shoulda stuck with college football from over 100 years ago when they were good at something. At least HUP was good for something because thats where I was born !!!— tastycake
- Intellectual conversations seem to be something most people stop having once they graduate.— Freedom Fries
- Doesn't bother me. She's entitled to her opinion, like everyone else. That's the whole point of an op/ed.— everydayguy
- Wow, sexist and elitist and the same time! Women need to find a man to be complete, eh? And only fellow Ivy League men are good enough for these women. Amazing stuff here.— verve
- So basically if you did not go to Princeton you cannot be intellectually equal to a Tiger? That type of elitist foundation to her 'advice' undercuts everything else she has to say.— Damien
- Gag... I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. These types of people, who think what college someone went to defines whether they're ones "intellectual equal", are the absolute worst. In the real world very few people care what school you went to and my experience has been that those who do are the least interesting, least dynamic people I have met. I went to both an ivy league school and a "local" school and by far the education was the same at each. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess Susan Patton is an absolute bore, and that spending any time with her would be wasted. That is, assuming she was even able to see me at the end of her nose.— Bud Fox
- If someone from Liberty Univ wrote that article, the professional (and amateur) left would bring back the fictional "War on Women". But since it's by a liberal, it's entertaining reading and food for thought. LOL.— Phillies2008WSChamps
- Sad.— xing
- If you find someone that you can spend your life with in school, great. If not one has a few years to look other places.— Wildman Bill
- Jen, the only reason you have gotten jobs at numerous newspapers across the country is because you are a black female. You are a no-talent hack with a primitive mind and you are not worthy of your Princeton husband. You can't even write an opinion piece or review of this woman's statement without rambling aimlessly about your personal life and that of your sister (or was it yo' sistah girl!) as if your readers give a damn about you. That is just one example of why you are a terrible writer. A reader doesn't even need to look at the byline to know that it's one of your articles. Your M.O.--talk endlessly about yourself, ramble aimlessly with no coherent thoughts---always gives you away. If marriage was based on brainpower you would be married to Lenny Dykstra. Not because you are black. No. It's because you are a complete and utter moron.— phillyisahole
Read more from Jenice Armstrong at Earth to Philly, the Daily News blog on anything and everything "Green."
Reach Jenice at armstrj@phillynews.com.
