One of the many, many reasons your Eagletarian could never be a professional athlete is that he just doesn't get "bulletin board material." Most of it, anyway.
There aren't any actual bulletin boards in the Eagles' locker room. There's a marker board as you first walk in, that usually says something like "Bible study 4:30 p.m."
I've never seen it quote Jessica Simpson, or even Adam (nee Pac-Man) Jones. And I still can't believe professional athletes really make ferreting out possible disparaging comments by opponents and stray bystanders part of their preparation. If it's me, I laugh. Why would I care about something silly somebody said, unless they singled me out and critiqued my play? That's kind of kindergartenish.
But pro sports is kindergartenish, in this respect. You can be certain that when the Eagles resume practice Thursday, there will be a breathless rush to garner reaction to Jones' declaration that the Birds' Week 1 victory was less impressive than it seemed because they played the Rams, and whatever it was that Simpson said, along the lines that her boyfriend Tony Romo and company were going to beat up those gosh-darned Eagles.
In this drama, we in the media get to play the chubby, nerdy kid on the playground who shuttles back and forth between the two tough kids, spreading gossip. "Did you hear that Billy said your momma was so fat ..."
And the thing is, the players really do care. I have rarely been as amazed as I was during the preparations for Super Bowl XXXIX, when Freddie Mitchell did an interview where he couldn't remember the names of the guys in the New England secondary, and it became an international incident, complete with a redfaced Bill Belichick deprecating Freddie.
My reaction? The New England Patriots are trying to win their third Super Bowl in four years and it matters to them that Freddie Mitchell can't come up with a couple guys' names? Hell, Freddie didn't know all the Eagles' names, let alone the opponents'. They needed Freddie to get stoked for winning the Super Bowl? Apparently so, they made a huge deal about it going up to, during and after the game, which turned out to be Freddie's last in the NFL.
So, heads up -- before Monday night blessedly arrives, don't expect to hear a whole lot about Jim Johnson's possible plan of attack, or how the Eagles are going to go about trying to keep the heat of a strong Dallas pass rush off Donovan McNabb. No, instead, somebody is going to ask Terrell Owens about DeSean Jackson, and T.O., who doesn't really keep up with anything that isn't smiling back at him in the mirror each morning, is going to say, "Who?" and we'll be off to the races.
Wake me when it's time to play football.
Speaking of which, Igglesblog has a dandy film review of the Rams game.
I thought it was cute the other day when John Clayton on ESPN.com actually mentioned the MVP award in connection with Donovan McNabb's performance Sunday. We're talking about the MVP after Week 1 now? Little did I know, in the quest to fill the limitless space the Internet provides, there's actually a guy on SI.com, Buckaroo Banzai, or some such thing, who has MVP standings, after Week 1. And of course, Donovan is leading. Let's hope he is starting to sketch out his acceptance speech.
Note to commenter "extremebeat" below: I think the word you're looking for is "drivel." "Dribble" pertains to basketball, and to the sloppy eating of soup.
Also, this is not an "article." It's a blog post.