My daughter Allison is in three fantasy football leagues, but unlike many other fantasy league geeks, she doesn’t feel compelled to tell the world when one of her starting wide receivers scores a touchdown or her quarterback throws three picks. Earlier, she e-mailed me the five things she’d like to see less of on Facebook and Twitter during football season. Thought I’d share them with Eagletarian readers:
1. SCREENSHOTS OF YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL SCORE. Oh, you had Peyton Manning in your lineup this week? You're so effing wise. I can't believe you haven't been contacted yet by an NFL general manager offering you a scouting job.
2. IN-GAME SCORING UPDATES AND COMMENTARY. Anyone that cares is watching and thus already knows how "OMG do they even practice tackling?!?" your team looks. Similarly, "TOUCHDOWN!!!!" is bringing nothing to the table. I bet ESPN is losing sleep wondering how they'll stay a step ahead of your real-time stat-tracking and eloquent prose.
3. Generic mid-game complaints about the officiating. I don't even know which game you're watching, and whining about the refs is the only thing more boring than baby pictures in my newsfeed. Maybe your WRs should learn to run marginally effective routes so you can stop [complaining and thinking] that everything is pass interference.
4. Joe Buck doesn't harbor a unique hatred for your team. He hates everyone and everything equally except for Troy Aikman's aroma which he justifiably finds intoxicating.
5. Of course your team's fans are the most passionate in football and no one else understands or is as loyal and die-hard. RIVETING.
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