Cleaning Up the Minivan

The time has come for suburbia to marry its two greatest traditions into one.

I present to you, the Ikea minivan (or perhaps Ikea Minnevaan).

The idea came to me like a flash as I tested the Toyota Sienna SE, or more directly as I cleaned said Sienna. That rug grabbed onto dirt and crumbs and hair and did not want to let go.

So picture it: A minivan with laminate floors. You could install them yourself on a Saturday afternoon between the early morning soccer game and the afternoon birthday party.

Easy to clean: Just Swiffer them and go!

A little higher up, check out the removable seat covers. Just pull them out and drop them in the washer. Be sure to buy an extra set, and you'll always have one ready to go. And in designer colors, they'll not only offer you variety in your van decor, they'll look much more fashionable than just any old seat covers you can get at Pep Boys.

And on top, not just a luggage rack, but a whole set of luggage shelves. It could even be armoire style, and everything would stay nice and dry up there.

HGTV could tie in a whole series, "Pimp that Swagger Wagon," sponsored by, naturally, Ikea.

Of course, the Ikea minivan would arrive at the department store flat packed for easy shipping. A couple turns of the special Ikea key (complete with wordless instructions for easy assembly) and your new vehicle is ready to roll.

As an option, models with the keyless start button would only need this key somewhere on the owner's person to fire up and be off to the big box store.