Seeking a 'silver lining' in a cancer diagnosis
Growing up, my optimistic mother often told me, "When you go through bad situations, if you wait long enough, and look hard enough, you can always find a silver lining."
During the early part of 2010, her words returned to me when I was diagnosed with urinary bladder cancer. Over the last six years I learned it is the fifth most commonly diagnosed cancer, and besides taking the lives of more than 16,000 people per year, it is typically a very aggressive disease.
Where was the silver lining in that?
Treatment consisted of the surgical removal of my bladder, followed by 12 weeks of chemotherapy infusions. I was left feeling self-conscious, since my body had been altered to divert urine through a hole in my stomach and into a bag. This prompted my quest to find others who were already living what was now my new life.
I turned to the Internet and found the online support community for the Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network (BCAN). Through their online discussion forum, I started to have conversations with people who shared my cancer experience. Immediately my life changed, as I had found the silver lining that was buried so, so deep within my life-changing diagnosis.
Conversations with people confirmed the validity of the online support concept. Through the social network, we're able to have meaningful relationships with people around the world. I remember a young lady I talked with at great length who lived in Sydney, Australia. Her father had been diagnosed with bladder cancer and since she had been his "special little girl" all of her life, she and her family was terrified they were going to lose him. Simply talking online with someone who had "been there and done that" helped relieve her anxieties.
A lady from India who had her bladder removed was interested in information about a product I discussed in one of my posts. Since this product wasn't available in India, I was able to purchase it here and then ship it to her via the postal service. It tremendously added to the quality of her life.
More recently, my personal urologist/surgeon referred a man to me whose name was Rudy. He was 54 and had his bladder removed in 2013. Rudy, like me, simply wanted to talk. Although we never met in person, we established a wonderful friendship. Unfortunately, he recently lost his battle to this horrific disease.
Last month a couple — people I'd never met — donated $100 to a fundraiser I was participating in for BCAN, which bore Rudy's name. The wife introduced herself and told me how they had met Rudy at the hospital chemo lab, while Rudy and her husband were receiving treatments. Rudy mentioned to them that a man named Bill was coaching him through the treatment process. And that he would be happy to assist them, if they felt he could be of help. That's really paying it forward.
My cancer experiences have enabled me to become politically active in matters pertaining to bladder cancer awareness. I've participated in annual fund raising walks for bladder cancer research, provided materials and resources to new bladder cancer patients, and given speeches on behalf of BCAN at various meetings to help spread awareness of this very debilitating and too often fatal disease. As a veteran, during this last year I have become a volunteer peer counselor for a VA hospital where I visit with bladder cancer patients, as well as patients with other conditions requiring in hospital treatment.
For me, the helping of others along the way became the real silver lining in my bladder cancer experience.
Bill Russell is a retired traveling auditor for an international labor union. Born and raised in Wilmington, DE, he has resided in southwestern Pennsylvania for the last 30 years. He is an advocate with the Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network (BCAN). This guest column appears on "Diagnosis: Cancer" through our partnership with Inspire, an Arlington, Va., company with condition-specific online support communities for over 750,000 patients and caregivers.
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