The Daily Delco blog is only five months old, but in that time, we have unwittingly launched what may be the most effective anti-drug and alcohol campaign that this country has ever seen. When you drink booze and do drugs, you are risking the following consequences, not to mention a tenfold increase in your chances of being Tasered. Parents, please share this with your children:
- Crash car. Get naked.
- Get naked. Get Tasered. Three times.
- Stab self, then get Tasered.
- Punch cable guy, use your 11-year-old-daughter as a shield to block Taser.
- Attempt to convince police you are a killer (you're not) who just threw a man's body over a railroad bridge (you didn't).
- Get busted on Christmas. At midnight Mass. Become the most popular story on philly.com.
- Get arrested. Next day, get arrested again.
- Steal copper to buy drugs, overdose on drugs, die.
- Make a fool of yourself at your high-school reunion.
- Throw rocks at a firehouse.
- Contemplate eating kittens for dinner (I personally don’t buy this one, but we'll see what happens in court).
- And finally, cook meth in your mom’s basement. At age 45.
This stuff belongs in school textbooks. All rights reserved.