Monday, September 15, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Delco Zombie Task Force prepares for 'World War Z'

Do you live in Delaware County? Are you afraid of zombies? Let me direct you to the Delco Zombie Task Force, a "group based in Delaware County, Pennsylvania dedicated to the prevention, preparation and mitigation of Zombie attacks as well as any and all other worldly invaders."

Delco Zombie Task Force prepares for 'World War Z'

The Zombie Prom was held at the Trocadero in Center City last month. (Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer)
The Zombie Prom was held at the Trocadero in Center City last month. (Elizabeth Robertson / Staff Photographer)

Do you live in Delaware County? Are you afraid of zombies? If so, you've come to the right place.

Let me direct you to the Delco Zombie Task Force, a "group based in Delaware County, Pennsylvania dedicated to the prevention, preparation and mitigation of Zombie attacks as well as any and all other worldly invaders."

I was tipped off about the DZTF by Daily News reporter Dana DiFilippo, who saw it on Craigslist. I reached out to the head of the task force but haven't heard back. Presumably, he's busy preparing for World War Z.

"Some people may laugh now, but when it happens you will all be glad you joined this group! Moreover, hey, maybe we will all learn a thing or two about how to prepare for any emergency," according to the task force manifesto. "Please share your stories and pictures as well. We must be prepared for when 'World War Z' starts."

The DZTF page also includes this helpful primer on zombies:

"In many cultures, on all continents and throughout time, Zombies are believed to be former human beings that have risen from the dead by mystical means (witchcraft or voodoo). However, in recent years due to scientific advancements in the field of viral molecular microbiology, it is now believed that Zombies are normal people that have been infected by a mutated non-bacterial pathogen called solanum. This virus causes the Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome (discovered and documented by Harvard physician/psychiatrist Steven Schlozman) that takes away their ability to think, reason, and feel. Instead of rational emotions, a primal instinct as a blood hunter becomes the prime motivator for existence. There has been much speculation as to the original source of this highly infectious (which is passed on via bites and contact with bodily fluids), DNA altering tenacious virus. Of course, the Government is a prime suspect, which I personally disagree with, only because the documentation of Zombies goes back since written history began. My personal hypothesis is that it is an alien virus that came to earth on a meteorite, which our Government has tried to weaponize, unsuccessfully."

I did not know that.

Posted by: William Bender

About this blog
In The Daily Delco blog, Daily News reporters William Bender and Stephanie Farr dig up all the dirt - from crazy crimes to political malfeasance and everything in between - in Delaware County.

E-mail tips to Bender at benderw@phillynews.com or call him at 215-964-2099. Follow him on Twitter: @wbender99

E-mail tips to Farr at farrs@phillynews.com or call her at 215-854-4225. Follow her on Twitter: @farfarraway

William Bender and Stephanie Farr
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