I hadn't heard about Birds and Bees until the state police sent out a press release on it earlier this month.
The release didn't describe the mating habits of insects, birds or humans, but rather, it details a theft at Birds and Bees, an adult novelty store on Wilmington West Chester Pike in Concordville.
Seems on Sept. 1, a man bought about $50 worth of goodies at the store - with cash - but when he tried to walk out, the theft alarm still sounded. The man blew off security when they tried to stop him and he refused to empty his pockets, police said.
Turns out, when employees checked the store, they found a "small box of erection cream" missing from an area where the man had been, according to police.
Perhaps he was just hard up for the $8.95 the cream costs, but if he had already shelled out $50 for other toys, my guess is the slippery suspect was less embarrassed to steal the cream than to purchase it like a real man.
The thief - and the cream - have not yet been found, according to state police.
While researching just exactly what Birds and Bees is, I came across several unusual reviews of the store.
The first one that caught my eye and turned my stomach was on Yahoo! Local from someone identifying herself as "Karen." Her review of the store read, in part: "In my early twenties, my father bought my first 'toy' here, he was looking out for me and making sure i had 'safe sex.'"
Um, what? Listen parents, I'm all for talking to your kids about the birds and the bees, but taking them to Birds and Bees raises it to a whole 'nother level of creepy.
Another review, this one on MerchantCircle.com, is headlined "nice store without the dog."
Huh? Let's read on: "i want to add that there was a large dog in the store a few times i was in there.i am afraid of dogs and he wouldn't get away from me."
OK listen, I'm sure this is a lovely shop and many of the reviews are extremely positive, but these two are terrifying. There are a couple things I don't want anyone thinking about while they're in adult novelty stores - parents and dogs being chief among them.
State police didn't release any description of the thief, but if a man tries to sell you magic cream on the street, you might want to call authorities.