Cops: Home invader thwarted by his own bowels

Great Scott! This has to be one of the least Charmin' arrests ever.

Upper Darby police said a home intruder who almost made a clean getaway early this morning was nabbed by his own bowels when he had to run back in the house he had just fled to use the bathroom.

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Gerald Fox

Police found the man, Gerald Fox, sitting on the porcelain throne when they busted into the bathroom with their guns drawn, said Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood.

"The officer said 'What are you doing?' and he said 'I gotta' take a sh--,'" Chitwood said.

According to police, Fox, 26, tried to get into a home on Littlecroft Road near Guilford shortly after midnight this morning. When the two 22-year-old women inside, one of whom had a 1-year-old child with her, refused to open the door for Fox he decided to climb on to a porch roof and take an air conditioning unit out of a second-story window to gain entry, police said.

Once inside, he was confronted by one of the two women who then recognized him as the relative of someone who lived two doors down, Chitwood said. She asked him what he was doing in her house.

"He said 'I have to smoke a cigarette,' and then lit one up on her stove," Chitwood said.

After some conversation, the woman was able to convince Fox to leave but as he was walking out the front door he pushed her aside and ran back up to the second story of the home and into the bathroom, according to police.

The women were then able to dial 911 and responding officers busted through the bathroom door to find Fox on the john.

Chitwood said he doesn't know if his officers let Fox finish his business.

"It wasn't enjoyable at point of gun, that's for sure," Chitwood said. "But the police officers refused to wipe his butt."

Fox has a criminal record dating back to 2002 that includes arrests for drugs and false imprisonment, police said. Chitwood is not sure if Fox thought he was breaking into his relative's house this morning or if he intended to break into the house he did to rob the place.

"There's two scenarios: A.) He was in there to steal, which is the most likely scenario," Chitwood said. "B.) If he did have to quote 'take a sh**,' that's a hell of a way to do it."

Fox, of Island Avenue near Tanager Place in Philadelphia, was charged with burglary, false imprisonment and related offenses.

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