Folcroft Police Corporal Christopher Eiserman has seen a lot during his 14 years as a cop in Delaware County. An alleged Philly drug dealer standing in the station with 89 bags of dope hanging from his schlong was not one of them. Not until he met Ray Woods Friday night.
"Oh, that guy ... " Eiserman said when I called this afternoon to ask about Woods, 23, a resident of the city's Eastwick section awaiting his preliminary hearing on drug charges.
Eiserman said another officer was on routine patrol Friday when he pulled Woods over for a broken rear light and found marijuana in his car. When the officer searched Woods before placing him in the police cruiser, he discovered "a large bulge" in the front of his pants, Eiserman said.
Police say Woods actually had the balls to deny that there was any contraband down there.
"He stopped him for the traffic violation and one thing led to another," Eiserman said.
Back at the station, Eiserman said, police discovered that Woods had tied a large plastic bag around his penis that contained a whopping 89 small bags of suspected heroin and cocaine. Then things got messy.
"I tried to remove it. Unfortunately, and I don't know if it was nervousness or not, but he started urinating all over," Eiserman said.
While it wasn't exactly what Eiserman had in mind when he started his shift Friday, he couldn't help but chuckle at the ingenuity, or lack thereof, of street-level drug dealers.
"In 14 years, I've seen it down their pants, in their a--, but I've never seen it tied to their penis," he said. "I couldn't believe it. I guess they figure the police officers aren't going to check down in that area."
As for whizzing in the police station, Eiserman said it did not result in additional charges.