Saturday, December 20, 2014

The perfect TV movie? Syfy's got it.

The channel announces plans for 'Jersey Shore Shark Attack'. Wow, right?

The perfect TV movie? Syfy’s got it.

Here fishy, fishy, fishy.
Here fishy, fishy, fishy.

 

Hard to say what makes this project more irresistible: the title or the cast. But the combination just staggers the imagination.

The SyFy channel yesterday announced it is in production on a movie for 2012 entitled Jersey Shore Shark Attack.

OK, these people are geniuses at branding their films. They’ve given us evocative cheeseballs like Dinoshark, Zombie Apocalypse, Mansquito and Aztec Rex. But Jersey Shore Shark Attack? That totally steals the canolli.

And the cast? It’s a dream. Paulie Walnuts (Tony Sirico) from The Sopranos, Paul Sorvino from Goodfellas and – here’s your golden ticket – Vinny from the original GTL crowd in Seaside Heights.

The plot sounds like it’s ripped rather crookedly from the script of Jaws. It’s 4th of July down the Shore and angry swarms of sharks are drawn to the coastal waters due to illegal offshore drilling.

The tourists flee leaving it up to the bronzed natives to defend their surf and turf. Sirico is Captain Sallie, the grizzled boss of the boardwalk. Sorvino is the scheming mayor and Vinny G, plays that most noble of professions: a reporter. Bonus: onetime boy band singer Joey Fatone plays himself.

Why waste this on basic cable? This should go straight to IMAX.

Read more Dave on Demand or follow him on Twitter @DaveOnDemand_TV

David Hiltbrand Inquirer TV Critic
About this blog

A true child of TV, David Hiltbrand has worked as a critic at People and as a columnist and editor at TV Guide.

David Hiltbrand Inquirer TV Critic
Latest Videos:
Also on Philly.com:
Stay Connected