Friday, July 31, 2015

'Jersey Shore' recap: drunk as skunks

Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who was the drunkest of them all?

'Jersey Shore' recap: drunk as skunks

Yonda lies da Vatican
Yonda lies da Vatican


Down goes Deena! Down goes Deena again! Yes, Ms. Cortese did a face plant and several full gainers on last night’s Jersey Shore. But she wasn’t the only turista who was knee-walking drunk. The tan and the terrible hit the clubs in Florence hard in this week’s episode.

Here’s my theory: there hasn’t been enough agita this season to satisfy the Jersey Shore producers, so they resorted to plying their little guinea pigs with drinks. Lots and lots of drinks. The result was a slurry but not particularly interesting mess.

One question: Does Snooki have a wooden bouffant? Where does she put the stuff? That girl can drink her body weight in booze without notable effect. Make that two questions: What the hell happened to JWoww? She looks extremely anorexic. Is she dropping down to the flyweight division?

MTV is really going overboard with this show. We spent more time in commercials last night then we did in Italy. In fact, with all those extended trailers we saw more than 30 minutes of the film 30 Minutes or Less.

The big joke this season, of course, is the culture clash of sending our young Philistines to one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But that wears thin very quickly. Deena’s frustration at shopping in a market where “everything is in another language”? That wasn’t worth dwelling on.

The kids’ repeated insistence that they were looking at the Vatican – sad really. As was Ronnie’s contention that the Basilica was the Sistine Chapel. You know, the building that “Leonardo da Vinci painted with his hands”.

Hey at least he didn’t attribute it to Leonardo DiCaprio.


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Inquirer TV Critic
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About this blog

A true child of TV, David Hiltbrand has worked as a critic at People and as a columnist and editor at TV Guide.

David Hiltbrand Inquirer TV Critic
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