Pop quiz: Which noted American diplomat, on the first day of an overseas posting, said, “I just want to dance my ass off. I want to do the Jersey Turnpike all over the place and make out with people.”
If you guessed Deena “The Blast” Nicole, you can take any of the little stuffed animals on the bottom shelf. Deena wasn’t kidding around. The episode ended with her playing tongue hockey with Pauly (see video below). Can't quite identify the expression on Pauly's face during this sequence. It looks like a strange combination of dread and delight.
Yes, the highly anticipated fourth season of Jersey Shore debuted last night on MTV, with our brain-cramped stalwarts traveling to Italy. What did we learn? “Classy” is the same in any language.
The new international adventure began with everybody going to get a passport photo taken. Really? None of them had a valid passport? Hard to believe for a group of such sophistication. I just hope they got their shots too.
That was followed by the annual running of the cast, as they all rushed to arrive first in order to grab the nicest bedrooms.
Have the cast’s antics ever seemed more choreographed? Wouldn’t it be logical to have four sleeping quarters with two beds in each? The producers like to throw in the three-bed array just to throw the roommate situation into disarray.
Do you believe these lost souls, who couldn’t find a place to eat breakfast, were able to locate a gym on their own?
Everytime they ventured out of the house, you could see onlookers swarming around them like a cloud of gnats. There were even shots of Shore staffers pushing people out of camera range. Yes, this wasn’t a contrived situation at all. Just some fun loving American tourists taking in the sights.
How about when Mike spotted a pretty Italian girl at the hotel club? He had to encourage her to climb up to the area where the pride of the Garden State were partying. In other words , contrary to what the footage implied, the cast was isolated on a VIP platform, not mixing with the locals at all.
Oh, and one other event seemed curiously scripted. Does anyone believe that Mike suddenly found Snooki so incredibly irresistible? He was practically mauling the little smurfette. But every once in a while he’d check the camera with a glance that said, “Are you getting this?”
Do you think the producers could be setting up a dynamic that will result in tension and acrimony down the road? Nah, this is reality TV. Or as it likes to refer to itself: unscripted drama.