'Idol' Recap: Bad songs; worse clothes

Last night it was time to drag out the Baby Pictures album – the cruelest installment of the 'American Idol' season. The show makes the kids more familiar, more personal to viewers. Then we have to watch, one by one, their dreams get crushed. And as Ryan likes to remind us: it's all our fault. We didn't vote enough.

It is also the night traditionally when contestants have to pick a song from the year they were born. Just an aside: If Steven Tyler had taken the stage, as he seemed about to do during James Durbin's performance, he would have been limited to a song like Perry Como's 'Ramblin' Rose'.

If you're like me, it's also a night that makes you feel old. Melissa Etheridge? Nirvana? Vanessa Williams? Travis Tritt? These are the musty oldies from the beginning of time?

The first hour was miserable – although we were treated to the sight of Kate Hudson in the audience trying to cover her face with a bag of Cheetos. (Did Seacrest really call her 'one of Hollywood's biggest stars'?)

Things didn't pick up until Stefano Langone fired up 'If You Don't Know Me By Now'. Of course he was cheating, tracing the song to Simply Red in 1989. Actually it's a seminal Gamble and Huff tune from the early '70s.

Randy Jackson reminded us about the Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes original. Then again, Randy reminded us of a lot of things last night.

After Casey Abrams delivered a rather maniacal version of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit', 'Idol''s charter judge prefaced his critique by saying, 'Me being a musician and me being a producer/writer…' Classic Randy. Only Star Jones likes to trot out her resume more than the Big Dawg.

With that bizarre jacket, Randy also reminded us of Claude Van Damme in 'Time Cop'.

It was a wild night for wardrobe. Karen Rodriguez dressed like an extra from 'Austin Powers'. And Pia Toscano not only sang a song from the year she was born, she also dredged up an outfit from that era: a remarkably unflattering white jumpsuit with ballooning pants.

My predictions for the bottom three tonight: Naima, Karen and in a surprise twist, Jacob. Purely on merit, Thia should be going home, but her baby shots were soooooo cute!

I'd love to see Scott McCreery in that group, just to wipe that smug look off his face. Unfortunately he's going to be with us for a while.

A moment from last night I will always treasure: when Randy labeled Ray LaMontagne an 'ingenue'. Well, at least he didn't call him a diva.

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