Hef and his Runaway Bride: How was the sex?

There's no better way to hurt your ex than to tell everyone the sex was lousy. Even if your ex is 85 years old.

Crystal Harris, the so-called Runaway Bride of Playboy figurehead Hugh Hefner, went on Howard Stern's show yesterday to talk trash about their love life.

"It lasted like about two seconds," Harris said of the sole sexual encounter they attempted in two years together..

The 24-year-old also termed the eternal bachelor a never-nude. "Hef doesn't really take off his clothes. I have never seen him naked."

Apparently the relationship lacked all physical chemistry. "I am not turned on by Hef," said Harris. "Sorry."

No wonder she left him at the altar.

Of course all of this calumny stung the Playboy of the Western World. He struck back – via Twitter (why does that seem funny to us?)

"The sex with Crystal the first night was good enough so that I kept her over two more nights," read his tweet.

In a second message: "She lied about our relationship on Howard Stern but I don't know why. Maybe a new boyfriend?"

Harris has been linked to Dr. Phil's son, Jordan McGraw.

Hefner trumped her there. He's moving on with two escorts: Anna Sophia Berglund (Miss January 2011) and Shera Bechard (November 2010).

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