And so you’ve met the field of 12 on Dancing with the Stars. Who do you like? I mean besides William Levy for the obvious reasons, ladies.
Don’t worry, you have plenty of time to make up your minds. Tonight is only the first elimination when we cut the weakest from the herd. Who is it going to be? Here’s my prediction:
Martina is a bit of a no-brainer, positioned as she is at the bottom of the scoreboard.
But I assure you, I would’ve been agitating for her ouster even if she and partner Tony Dovolani had posted a 30. First things first: that obvious attempt to intimidate Len Goodman before the music even started. You picked the wrong judge. Bruno is the one who likes to be dominated.
Then there was that fixed smile Martina carried throughout the routine, made all the more scary by that garish shade of lipstick.
I don’t know what those fringed type pants are called and I can go to my grave happily without ever knowing. But it occurs to me they are like hula hoops: they have to be in constant rotation to work. If they droop, they just look sad. And Martina simply could not work them.
You saw the dancing. I challenge you to describe it in five words or less.
Goodbye, Ms. Navratilova. Thank you for playing.