‘DWTS’ recap: Take it off, boys

Touchdown, torso for Ingo Rademacher and Victor Ortiz

How many tuned in to Dancing with the Stars last night for Stevie Wonder and stayed for the shirtless wonders?

I bow to no dancer in my love for Mr. Wonder, but musically that was rather disappointing. Mostly what you got was the DWTS band doing awful covers of Stevie’s songs. And when Stevie did perform, whose genius idea was it to have him duet with country squirt, Hunter Hayes?

Bad music, but good dancing. Two couples drew 29s from the judges. First Zendaya and Val doing the Cha Cha to “Do I Do”.

Girl is silky, no? Also scoring high were Kellie and Derek who executed a brisk Quickstep to “Part Time Lover”:

Don’t know why none of the other couples caught on to the strategy for winning over the judges: You simply select the worst possible Wonder songs available.

Not only was it Stevie Wonder night, it was Ingo Rademacher’s birthday. So he and the rest of the male celebs decided to wear their birthday suits. Check out this Team Paso. It’s like an outtake from Magic Mike.

Even Sean Lowe stripped down for his dance with Peta. It was hard to focus on his sixpack when his torso was so remarkably hairless. Wax much, Sean? Bruno’s comment: “Look on the bright side, Sean. You can always get a job as a stripper.” Wow! Imagine if he said that to one of the female contestants.

The only guy who kept his clothes on – thank the Lord – was Andy Dick. In fact he overdressed. He wore what was supposed to be a mailman’s outfit, although it looked more like a bus driver’s. I couldn’t stop thinking when Andy knocked on the door at the beginning of the samba wearing that uniform and Sharna answered in a housewife’s get-up that it looked suspiciously like the set-up for a porno film.

Keep your pants on, Tom Bergeron!




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