That was a pretty sad American Idol finale on Wednesday night, and not just for Jessica Sanchez fans.
Where was the sparkle? The magic? The energy? Where were the stars?
This is clearly no longer a hot ticket in Hollywood. Did you see who was in the audience this year? Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin. Those two would turn out for the opening of a Del Taco franchise. Billy Bush. And then some people like Jane Lynch and Dean Cain who are on Fox shows.
Even David Hasselhoff couldn’t be bothered with taking time out of his busy drinking schedule to show up.
And the musical guests? Other than Rihanna, not exactly a chart busting bunch. You had a Grecian formulated John Fogerty. (Why couldn’t Fogerty and Phillips figure out a harmony? They just sang the same parts together.) Neil Diamond who declaimed rather than sang “Sweet Caroline” in the oratory style of Lorne Green. And Jennifer Holiday, whose voice was singing one song, but whose lips were singing an entirely different one.
And hey, while we’re at it, if we’re observing a two-song minimum for the judges, what about Randy Jackson? Why was he the only one who didn’t get to do a bad medley?
Boy, that on-air proposal was touching wasn’t it? “I would do anything in my power to have my most imaginable and amazing life together.”
For a minute there, I thought Ace Young was going to pull a switcheroo, turn away from Diana DeGarmo and ask for Seacrest’s hand instead. “Stop! You had me at ‘imaginable’.”
Most of the night was given over to various medleys by the Top 12 boys and girls. Isn’t it amazing how quickly these kids fade into obscurity after they are eliminated? Erika Van Pelt? Heejun Han?
Have to admire the way that Idol for the first time went through the charade of pretending the votes were actually tabulated, not fabricated. Seacrest brought out Nigel Lythgoe’s brother-in-law a representative from Telescope (?) to confirm that the results were all above board.
Hey, one thing we have a surfeit of in this country is accountants. Why would Idol hire an Englishman? Maybe their perjury laws are laxer. Because I have it on good authority that Colton Dixon won on write-in votes.