That was a pretty sad American Idol finale on Wednesday night, and not just for Jessica Sanchez fans.

Where was the sparkle? The magic? The energy? Where were the stars?

This is clearly no longer a hot ticket in Hollywood. Did you see who was in the audience this year? Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin. Those two would turn out for the opening of a Del Taco franchise. Billy Bush. And then some people like Jane Lynch and Dean Cain who are on Fox shows.

Even David Hasselhoff couldn’t be bothered with taking time out of his busy drinking schedule to show up.

And the musical guests? Other than Rihanna, not exactly a chart busting bunch. You had a Grecian formulated John Fogerty. (Why couldn’t Fogerty and Phillips figure out a harmony? They just sang the same parts together.) Neil Diamond who declaimed rather than sang “Sweet Caroline” in the oratory style of Lorne Green. And Jennifer Holiday, whose voice was singing one song, but whose lips were singing an entirely different one.

And hey, while we’re at it, if we’re observing a two-song minimum for the judges, what about Randy Jackson? Why was he the only one who didn’t get to do a bad medley?

Boy, that on-air proposal was touching wasn’t it? “I would do anything in my power to have my most imaginable and amazing life together.”

For a minute there, I thought Ace Young was going to pull a switcheroo, turn away from Diana DeGarmo and ask for Seacrest’s hand instead. “Stop! You had me at ‘imaginable’.”

Most of the night was given over to various medleys by the Top 12 boys and girls. Isn’t it amazing how quickly these kids fade into obscurity after they are eliminated? Erika Van Pelt? Heejun Han?

Have to admire the way that Idol for the first time went through the charade of pretending the votes were actually tabulated, not fabricated. Seacrest brought out Nigel Lythgoe’s brother-in-law a representative from Telescope (?) to confirm that the results were all above board.

Hey, one thing we have a surfeit of in this country is accountants. Why would Idol hire an Englishman? Maybe their perjury laws are laxer. Because I have it on good authority that Colton Dixon won on write-in votes.

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Who dares gets fresh with the Fresh Prince? Apparently some Ukrainian prankster who poses as a journalist and who ambushed Will Smith last week on the red carpet for the Moscow premiere of Men in Black 3.

Last night on Late Night, Smith addressed the international incident with David Letterman.

If you missed the reporter’s attempt to get way too friendly and Smith’s angry reaction, take a look:

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Reality show competitions can be a cruel mistress. On Monday night, Howard Stern made a 7-year-old aspiring rapper cry on America’s Got Talent. Last night on the finale of Dancing with the Stars, Tom Bergeron made William Levy’s young son Christopher cry when he announced that papa had finished third.

Que lastima, Christopher. But somebody had to lose. And somebody had to win. And that somebody was Green Bay Packers’ wide receiver Donald Driver, who rolled on the floor and went into full body spasms after being declared the 14th recipient of the mirrored ball.

It was the most competitive and accomplished final three the ABC show has ever assembled. Telenovela star Levy and Cheryl Burke and Welsh opera singer Katherine Jenkins and her partner Mark Ballas were both bunched tightly together with Driver and Peta Murgatroyd after two nights of dancing as they awaited the viewers’ votes.

The decisive factor may well have been Driver’s surprising choice of a Western swing routine, set to Cowboy Troy’s “I Play Chicken With the Train” for his freestyle number on Monday night.

Driver becomes the third NFL star to win DWTS, following in the dancing steps of Emmitt Smith and Hines Ward. Paired with NBA player Metta World Peace last season, Driver’s partner was the first pro eliminated. Heavens to Murgatroyd!

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The good news: AMC announced today that Breaking Bad will return for its fifth season on July 15th. Fans of the show know some of the bad news already. The fifth is also the last season of the gritty drama starring Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul.

It gets worse. The 16 episodes will be broken badly -- eight starting this summer, and then the concluding eight in the summer of 2013.

For a show about meth chemists, Breaking Bad is in no hurry to get things over with.

The channel issued this video of Cranston and Paul on the set during the making of season five. We might as well be DEA agents for all they really share with us.

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After all the subterfuge and sabotage, all the tears and catty smiles, the crazy challenges and the boardroom battles, it all came down to one question on last night’s Celebrity Apprentice finale between Arsenio Hall and Clay Aiken.

Donald Trump squinted at Arsenio and really put him on the spot. “I heard you said that if you win the Trump seal of approval that would be the biggest moment in your life.” [I’m paraphrasing but only because my notes are illegible because the suspense was unbearable.] “Is that true, Arsenio, or is it something you said just to prostrate yourself before my ego?”

Come on, Arsenio. You know the answer to this. Think carefully. You’ve never been more sincere about anything in your life, right? Of course not! Good answer.

And so the die was cast.

Personally I think Clay cooked his own goose with his party presentation, during which he unleashed the most hellish musical duo since the advent of sound. I know the Donald is tone deaf, but even he must have been cringing in the place where his soul should be when Debbie Gibson took the stage with Dee Snider.

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Abandon hope, America. Based on this trailer of Keeping up with the kardashians  seventh season which kicks off Sunday on E!, there really is no chance of maintaining pace with the dark Amazons.

See for yourself.

Lingerie photo shoot. Check. Kanye sighting. Check. Kourtney reveals her baby’s gender. Yep.

And so much more. There is apparently a fractious family vacation on a yacht off the Dominican Republic. Mama Kris apparently took some collagen injections in her lips that did not agree with them. Come on, show us, Kris. It can’t be worse than Lisa Rinna.

And that’s not all. There’s the infamous flour-bombing of Kim on the red carpet in March. And what’s that no-tell hotel meeting for Kris, where she says, “I left my husband for this guy.” What in the blue blazes? If it’s infidelity that’s making you cry, Kourtney, then weep harder, because you’re sobbing for two. Bruce Jenner has no tear ducts.

We want Kanye! We want Kanye!

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Well, somebody had to go. The suspenseful choice on American Idol last night came down to Phillip Phillips, Jessica Sanchez or Joshua Ledet. Only two could progress to next week’s finals at the Nokia Theater. So who would suffer the most painful cut of all? Decisions, decisions.

In one sense, it didn’t matter. Whoever was chosen, the judges were going to be unhappy and I was going to mock the people’s choice. So stand back and let us do our jobs.

In the end it was Bring Your Mother to Work Day for Joshua. It was also his last day on the job. At the climax of the hour, it came down to the two guys and Joshua, the 19-year-old with the big voice and the big stage presence got the pink slip from Ryan Seagrape.

Ledet did a defeat lap, reprising “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” as roamed the set, hugging the finalists and the judges and pulling his mother up on stage.

This sets up a surprising showdown between Jessica Sanchez (who was eliminated once and brought back by the judges) and boho-wannabe Phillip Phillips.

One of the season’s more interesting hours lead up to the elimination. There was a classy opening which showed the trio on their obligatory home visit. The lovely music “Homeward Bound” was attributed solely to Paul Simon. Sorry about that, Garfunkel.

I love that sentence so much I'm going to type it again: Sorry about that, Garfunkel.

Then there was a performance by Lisa Marie Presley, a moody Chris Isaak type song on a stage hung with Spanish moss backed by a band of what looked like undertakers. Did Lisa Marie just wake up one morning at 43 and decide, “You know what? I think I want to be a singer?” Very weird. Take a look.

Lisa Marie Presley - You Aint See Nothing Yet -... by IdolxMuzic

Then It was Adam Lambert’s turn on stage. Is it just me, or did he look a lot more like Elvis’s offspring than Lisa Marie did? He rocked his single “Never Close Our Eyes”.

Little reminder, kids. Next time the Idol judges insist this is the best batch of singers the show has ever had (which should be in about another 45 seconds), make them watch this tape of Lambert. He finished second in season 8. I’d be more likely to pay for a ticket to see him perform than any of the three on that stage last night.

And with all that going on, we still found time in the hour for a long, long plug for the animated Fox film Ice Age: Continental Drift. You can’t buy ad time like that!

So what did you think of the results? Did the voters get it right? Who deserved to go? And who do you think will win next week?

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The CW was the last of the networks to announce its lineup for next season at a gathering on Thursday at the New York City Center. And it will be the last to roll them out, waiting until October to debut its new shows. Worth the wait?

You be the judge. Here’s a taste of the CW’s three fall series:

Stephen Ammell stars in Arrow as a billionaire playboy by day and a vigilante crime-fighter by night. Katie Cassidy, Colin Donnell, Susanna Thompson, Willa Holland and David Ramsey co-star

In Emily Owens, M.D. Mamie Gummer (Meryl Streep’s daughter) plays the title character, who finds out that interning at a Denver hospital is just like her least favorite time and place on earth – high school. Justin Hartley, Michael Rady, Aja Naomi King and Kelly McCreay co-star.

Beauty and the Beast stars Kristin Kreuk (Smallville) a police officer who is the only person who knows Jay Ryan's secret: when he gets enraged he transforms into a overpowering, pelted creature. Max Brown, Nina Lisandrello, Austin Basis and Brian White co-star.

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They finally did it. Those plucky kids from New Directions. It took a two hour episode, the iron will of Coach Sue and the music of Meat Loaf (?) but our favorite Fox show choir won the Nationals.

They did it in typically implausible fashion. I did mention Meat Loaf, right?

The best fun came in the first hour when a disgruntled Tina plunged into the fountain in the mall and had this crazy Yellow Brick Road fantasy where all the guys and girls in our troupe had changed places. Finn and Puck were gay and Blaine had a Mohawk. Please don’t wake her up until next season!

Coach Beiste learned to love herself and left Cooter. Puck got beat up and thrown in a dumpster by mullet wearing hockey players (now we know where the New Jersey Devils recruit) and then it was off to Chicago.

Except we never get to see the city. Remember last year? Half the scenes were set on the streets of New York City. This year it was like they never left the soundstage.

Mercedes falls deathly ill and there’s big pressure on Rachel because she invited Ms. Thibodeaux from NYADA to the performance. Jesse St. James is there, leading Vocal Adrenalin. But he’s confused by the new rules in the competition. What the heck are “vintage” songs, he wonders? You know Jesse. Vintage is about 90% of the repertoire on this show. You can’t go wrong.

And then the big moment before judges Lindsay Lohan, Perez Hilton and Ari’s assistant from Entourage. The girls take the stage for Gaga’s “Edge of Glory”. Except it’s not the New Directions girls. Once again we seem to have supplemented our numbers with high kicking ringers. Then we pull out all the stops: a Bat Out Of Hell medley that included this:

Genius. Give them the trophy.

Back at home, they are greeted as conquering heroes. Mr. Schuester wins teacher of the year. Next week: the season finale. You know what that means. Graduation. Here’s a tease.

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