The NFL has a kicking problem. Two, in fact, and the staff is here to help the league fix both of them in one fell swoop.
No. 1: The point-after attempt. Booooor-ing! Just five misses last season in something like six gazillion attempts. And the experimental attempt from 33 yards this preseason did nothing for us.
No. 2: Touchbacks. Booooor-ing! without the actual scoring.
So, we present the BoopStats NFL Kicking Solution.
When a team scores a touchdown, it gets its six points and then has one of two options:
Option 1: Take an automatic one-point PAT without doing anything, they just add a digit to your score through the magic of technology ... But your ensuing kickoff must come from the 25-yard line, thereby enabling the other team to get a better chance to return it or you have a kicker who is good enough to get a touchback.
Option 2: You go for a two-point conversion from the two-yard line (I would even consider moving it up to the one-yard line to encourage it) ... But whether you make it or not, you get an automatic touchback on your ensuing kickoff, meaning your opponent has no chance to start anywhere other than at their own 20-yard line.
We think so.
It will also shorten up the eternity that now exists between the scoring of a touchdown and the next offensive snap. Right now, it goes ... Hike! ... Scoring play ... Celebration (subdued) ... Automatic replay reveiw ... Extra-point attempt ... Commericials ... Kickoff ... Touchback ... Commericials ... Tease to the new fall programming ... Joe and Troy chatting in the booth ... Hike! ...
We guess that’s a good four, five minutes there with no action (insert wedding night wisecrack here). With either option, this should be able to shorten the game a little and take two boring plays and replace then with one that has some meaning.
Do you agree? ... Or should we be relegated the Rich Kotite Laminating Room for a week?