Doug Glanville, who played for the Phillies from 1998-2002 and again in 2004, works mainly out of Chicago now, as a baseball analyst for the local Comcast SportsNet pod. He's sort of the Ricky Bottalico of Post Game Live in Chicago, except instead talking about what's wrong with the Phillies, they talk about what's wrong with the Cubs.

Glanville, a U. of Penn grad who has written regular columns for various publications in the last several years, is working on a collection of baseball essays that will be published next May. Otherwise, pretty much your typical ex-jock.

In an interview with the Chicago Tribune, Glanville gave Philadelphia fans credit for unleashing the best line he ever heard from the stands. (You were expecting Los Angeles?)

You can read the entire article here, but here's the story about the line that really made him laugh:

"When I got traded to Philly, there were a lot of stories about my engineering background and how in my senior thesis I evaluated the transportation feasibility of the Phillies building a new stadium at 30th Street Station. So I did this whole study, and now I'm playing for the team, so it was kind of a cool story about how I designed a stadium. I was really struggling in April the first year I got traded there, and Dykstra was like a god in Philadelphia and I was replacing that guy. Fans weren't too happy with me and my .180 batting average. One of the fans behind me said, 'Hey, Glanville. Why don't you design a stadium you can hit in?'"

I know I'm still catching up with things after being out of town, and this is old news here, but THE FLYERS SIGNED RAY EMERY??

That is apparently the case. I had to make sure, so I went over to the site of team spokesman Tim Panaccio and, yep, he had it, too. Said the "dust had settled after another sandstorm in Flyerdom," which threw me off a little. I mean, was it dust, or was it sand?

Either way, it was Ray Emery, the new goaltender, by way of Ottawa, by way of Russia, by way of Wackoville. With both Marty Biron and Antero Niittymaki becoming free agents on July 1, I guess the Flyers had to do something -- re-signing Biron would have been my preference -- and, oh yes, they did something.

It's awful to be accused of second-guessing a team, waiting for the outcome to decide if the organization was right or wrong in making a move. So, let's get the first guess out of the way now. This is going to be an utter disaster. Guys don't change at 26. If they miss practices, show up late all the time, get into automobile accidents, become a joke in their own locker rooms in one place, it's going to happen in the next place as well.

This is not Flyers Behavior. Whatever else this team is, the history here is it is as important to be a good teammate as it is to be a good hockey player. For GM Paul Holmgren, a man who tolerates no nonsense, to take this chance is utterly out of character.

And, by the way, it is missing the most vital point about the Flyers. The goaltending wasn't the problem. The problem was that the core of young players on the team who think they can ramp up their intensity and level of play when it is neeeded. Everything's just fine. We're just fine. Don't worry about us. So they blow playoff home-ice advantage on the final day of the season -- at home, to the Rangers -- and then dead-ass through the opening game of the playoffs against the Penguins. Just fine. No problem. The Flyers gave up 18 goals in six games against Pittsburgh. Big deal.

But the goaltending is always the easy answer. Coaches love to make that the answer, because then it's not their fault. It isn't the scheme or the motivation or the execution. It's that lump between the pipes there. Just didn't rise to the occasion. In this case, that's crap. Biron was plenty good enough.

And his replacement is a guy who was late for practice because he was signing autographs at the scene of one of his many fender benders? The dude ate a cockroach off the floor on a bet. Cockroach.

It would be fair to say the players are unconvinced about the signing.

"We all know about Ray. I'm ready to leave that behind and move forward," Kimmo Timonen said.

"We need to give him a chance before we judge him," Danny Briere said.

And then we're going to hate him wicked. At least that's the prediction here. Emery went to Russia to play for a season while he cooled off after his nuclear meltdown in Ottawa. Walked out on the Moscow club in February because he thought they were screwing him on the exchange rate on his salary. Reportedly got into a shoving match with a trainer who was trying to make him wear a hat. Didn't say what kind of hat.

(Since this comes down to Emery and Biron, parenthetically, here's that fight between the two of them, back when Biron was with Buffalo and Emery made it to the game on time.)

OK, I think that's all, at least until the act really gets going and the Wachovia Center fans are booing and throwing things after Emery gives up a soft goal and stomps around, pointing his stick at the defensemen.

This will not end well. And, for God's sake, don't try to make him wear a hat.

All right, it's not really a contest. There aren't any prizes. We're in bankruptcy here, for God's sake. You think we're awash in prizes?

How about a free subscription? Fine. You got a computer, you already got a free subscription. Clever how we worked that out, wasn't it? Doesn't cost you a dime.

Not that it keeps us from poking good-natured fun at other businesses that are struggling a little bit. Like the Sixers, who keep going to the mailbox in the morning looking for those season-ticket renewals, opening it, looking in, closing it, coming back in five minutes, still nothing.

Sports teams are smarter than newspapers. They charge money for tickets -- similar to a subscription -- but when they let you see the content for free (or as free as those cable TV crooks allow), they get money from the cable crooks. We should look into that. If you get your internet from Verizon or AT&T or AOL or Father Comcast or whomever, those guys should give us money if they want their users to see newspaper content. Otherwise, they get GinzuKnives.com and SaveTheMacaroons.com and that's it. Take a memo on that. Get back to me.

The Sixers should have all this stuff really figured out. Comcast owns the team. Comcast owns the building. Comcast owns the cable company. They let Mr. Minority Owner Snider make some decisions while the Roberts family is buying and selling continents, but in that really big building they just built near City Hall, there really isn't a lot of talk about whether Kareem Rush was used properly last season. But even they know it ain't going well.

The problem is that you can't fool the people. (Well, perhaps the word forever needs to be appended to the end of that sentence). And you can't fool them in a recession, for sure. The Sixers have won one playoff series since the 2001 Finals. They have gone through six coaches in that time and just hired a seventh. People aren't that interested in a team that has no chance to win a championship -- even if the team plays hard and overachieves. People want stars. They want real excitement. They want to believe they are seeing something special before the lay out 75 bucks to endure ear-splitting music and tiresome one-on-one basketball. That's what the Cavs are selling in Cleveland, nothing of particular substance. But it is selling.

Next season, the Sixers will be selling the magical motion system of Mr. Eddie Jordan, who is a pretty good coach and a believer in the Princeton half-court offense. It will be an improvement for the Sixers, who didn't appear to have a half-court offense previously, and, if things go right, the team will play hard and overachieve and maybe people will start to drift back.

That hasn't happened yet, though -- open mailbox, peer in, close, repeat -- so the team is going to hold what it is calling a "brand re-launch" next Tuesday. The franchise has been here since 1963, so maybe it's time for a "brand re-launch," which is marketing talk for, "We need people to think we're different, because what we were before we couldn't sell with ice cream on top." The idea is there will be a lot of sparklers and confetti and drum-beating and, suddenly, You've Got Mail!

And you know what a new marketing campaign means, right? Yes, new slogan. That's the ticket. A new slogan. Those are always great. We have those here at the newspaper, too. I think our current one is, "Get a Computer. We Can't Stop You." My favorite from the past was, "The Inquirer. The Most Important 15 Minutes of Your Day." We probably paid a lot to have someone think up that one.

The Sixers' brain trust might be puzzling over the new slogan right now, or they farmed it out to some promotional consulting crooks or ad agency. It's got to be snappy. Has to scream new day to anyone who hears it. Must put them in a trance and make them write a check.

Hmmm. What can it be?

Sixers: We Give Teams Motion Sickness

No, that's awful. God, that's like one of our slogans.

Sixers: Legal Motion

Sixers: Sammy Looks Good On The Bench, Huh?

Sixers: Try To Keep Up

Sixers: Who In Hell Can Jason Kapono Guard?

Sixers: Jordan Rules (For Now)

Got nothing. Got a good one for the Sixers? Comment away. We'll select the best and make sure the Sixers get it before next Tuesday. A re-launch is a terrible thing to waste.

That's what the Eagles said on Friday after giving Donovan McNabb approximately a $6 million bump in pay over the next two seasons, taking his potential earnings through 2010 from the nice neighborhood of $19 million to the incrementally nicer neighborhood of about $25 million.

Hey, it's their money and they can spend it as they please, even if the raise comes after a brief offseason spell during which the front office grumbled in the background and talked tough about holding the line on players with multiple seasons remaining on their contracts.

Quarterbacks are different, though, and Donovan is different even by quarterback standards. He's a little goofy, talks in circles, pouts on occasion, all of that, but he still represents the shortest distance at his position for the Eagles to reach a Super Bowl. Coming off a season in which he remained healthy and just missed the first 4,000-yard season of his career -- would have had it except for that 30 minutes of rest in Baltimore -- they had no intention of replacing him. And, in order to make things smoother, they had to give some money so it could appear he won the battle of wills. Who says he can't win the big one?

So, McNabb gets to save face, the Eagles get a happy quarterback and there's not much to see here. Some players have leverage, some don't, and you can ask Sheldon Brown about that if you like.

But, returning to the original question, did McNabb "earn" the raise. The organization said on Friday that over the course of his contract McNabb's earnings, compared to other QBs, has slipped from the top of the list to somewhere around 10th on the list. The raise put him back among the top three or four best-paid quarterbacks in the league.

Last season, McNabb's passer rating was tied for 14th in the NFL. His completion percentage was 18th. His TD percentage was 12th. The average gain on his passes ranked 19th. He threw 11 interceptions, and it has been seven seasons since he threw more than that.

He did operate without a reliable running game for much of the season, and with an offensive line that held together but just barely. Given the number of balls he threw -- a career-high 571 -- his interception percentage was still good. He got the team to the NFC championship game, won it once, but couldn't win it again after the defense gave the game away. Pretty good effort.

But was it the performance of one of the best three or four quarterbacks in the league? The Eagles either think so, or have to say they think so as a price of doing business. It's their money, but it would be nice if you could trust their explanation for why they spent it.

Go away for one lousy week and all hell breaks loose without Post Patterns to keep things orderly around here.

When the staff and I returned -- leaving out the lesser details about that nasty hound dog from U.S. Customs at Philly Int'l that had an issue with one small item in one small piece of luggage -- it seems that it was a busy week here.

In no particular order, we learned that: the Sixers got a shooting guard, the Flyers got a goaltender, Donovan McNabb was paid $6 million for being benched in that second half in Baltimore, Brad Lidge went on the disabled list, and the entire field of journalism (such as it is) was rendered asunder by John Gonzalez and some fantasy league geek in Peoria.

Not wanting to waste a minute before diving back into the fray, Post Patterns went to the Phillies game in Citi Field on Thursday and found the entire baseball press corps (such as they are) still in lather-and-repeat mode about Gonzo's Inquirer column in which he downplayed internet rumors of PED use by Raul Ibanez by writing a big story about it.

I like John, I like Ibanez, I like the baseball writers and I had a fine time in Peoria once when the Sixers played an exhibition game there because they thought Hersey Hawkins would be a big draw at his former college arena. (Harold Katz had a lot of ideas like that, but that's a story for another day.)

But everyone is very upset about the whole thing, except perhaps the fantasy league guy who ended up on "Outside The Lines," when he'd never even been outside of Iowa before. (It's entirely possible I have the guy's location wrong, by the way. I know he's from the midwest, though. But, hey, it's a blog post. I'm just kind of winging it here.)

Ibanez was the most upset, and understandably so, taking his word for the fact that his prodigious production this season has been the result of innate talent and hard work. Gonzo was upset, too, although he got some ESPN face time as well -- which must have done wonders for their ratings.

As for the core issue, no one knows for sure, of course, but we live in an innocent-until-proven society, Ibanez has never tested positive for any prohibited substance, and there is some history to what he is doing. That was laid out nicely in respected KC writer Joe Posnanski's blog, although Joe did admit that when Ibanez played for the Royals he and Ibanez used to exchange gifts for their children, so on the impartiality scale of 1-to-10, Joe probably isn't a 10.

The journalism issue is knottier. If something is "out there," buzzing around the internet, even if it is posted by someone with no professional standards binding him or her, with no actual reportorial knowledge of a situation and just kind of wondering out loud, is it fair game for the mainstream media to seize upon it as, well, information?

Unfortunately, the answer is: It depends. That's the fuzzy world in which we live at the moment and it should also be noted that the mainstream media -- where the streams are ebbing rapidly and drying up in spots -- isn't the bellweather of propriety it once was, either.

So, who to trust? Again: It depends. But we do live in a place where the distribution of ideas, opinions and information is not overtly controlled by the government. (The hound dog in the airport notwithstanding.) We make great fun of places that operate in that manner. Our system, despite its byproducts, is preferable. Raul Ibanez might not think so at the moment, but he works in a profession that has been tainted by his fellow professionals and comes along at a time when people are going to wonder the kind of stuff that the guy in Peoria wondered about. There are going to be things in blogs that are wrong and regrettable -- like the previous sentence, for instance, which ended in a preposition -- or this one, which is running on and on without any reasonable hope of a satisfactory termination. Whew.

 It's a new era, and some of the rules are still being figured out. (Preposition, again.) Twenty years ago there were no blogs. Now everyone has one. Murphy, the ball writer from the Daily News, yelled across the press box Thursday night, "Hey, I'm ripping your boy in my blog." I like Murphy, although he's not nearly as good a basketball player as he believes, and he has a right to criticize Gonzo in his blog. I'm in a glass house on that one since I took a little shot at Les Bowen a while back after he took a little shot at me. We got over it and have gone back to talking about Darden Smith and Joe Ely again, instead of what weasels we are. (I gotta stop that.)

Anyway, it's great to be back. Glad I didn't miss anything important.

I know it's very sad, but even Post Patterns has to take a little break now and then. The entire staff walked out last week in protest of that item about Donovan and there's no one here to answer the Post Patterns phone or, more importantly, make the Post Patterns coffee.

And, unfortunately, it's hard to get good help these days and the process may take a while. I think it will take exactly a week, in fact, during which time Post Patterns will search the streams and brooks of our fair land, sleeping under the stars, contracting horribly disfiguring skin rashes.

Until then, not saying nothing. If it works for the QB, it works for Post Patterns. Why talk if you can't win no matter what you say? Well, there's the small matter of being a leader and being the public face for a franchise that has made you ungodly wealthy. But those are thoughts for another time.

See you in a week, but watch your back. Post Patterns can't cast accurately.

Not that he can't play at all, not that he doesn't do some things that are quite good -- all right, one thing, block shots -- but an instinctive, read-and-respond motion offense is just not the place for our Sam Dalembert.

I tried to make that point in the Sunday Inquirer as we took a stab at predicting the future under new coach Eddie Jordan, who is a motion offense kind of guy.

Beat writer Kate Fagan looked at it from another angle, from the perspective of how the backcourt will have to adjust and what kind of players are required there.

Back to Sammy, I like the guy personally. He's funny and quirky and his Haitian French is as strange as my college French, so we ask each other how we are doing a lot, say fine, and then nod a lot. We boys.

On the court, however, it has always been obvious that just as English is a second language, basketball is a second sport. He's a soccer player -- heck of a target striker, probably -- who was pushed into the game because he just kept growing. It is game he has learned but it is not at the core of his being the way basketball is for kids who have played since they were old enough to get the ball to the rim. Pickup hoops, playground hoops... it's all about screens and motion and cuts to the basket. It's elemental basketball. Sammy didn't get that, and for what he did get he's done well.

But....the Sixers have to move on. The question is how. Dalembert has two more years left at a hefty salary and he looks untradable. We also know that he isn't going to play much, particularly if Elton Brand is healthy and Jason Smith comes back able to play. We also also know that Dalembert gets sulky and could become a problem. He asked for a trade last year when it became apparent he was going to play 25 minutes and not 33 per game. What will he do when it's more like 10?

Easy for me to say, but I think the Sixers have to pay a team to take him away. I don't know what it would cost, maybe half the salary, but he's 6-foot-11 and the goal is still 10 feet off the ground. Someone must want him at some price.

Having him around would not only be a problem for Jordan, but it will make the fresh start seem a little stale. Better to move on now. Comprendre?

"You don't have to call me darling, darling. You never even called me by my name."

-- Steve Goodman

Nothing like a good, old country song to put that lingering divorce spat between the Dallas Cowboys and our good buddy Terrell Owens into perspective.

Tony Romo had nothing but kind words for his departed receiver, except that he, in the words of another quarterback, "kept his name out of his mouth" when asked about Owens during the Cowboys' mini-camp rituals.

Owens laughed it off and reminded people that Bill Parcells never referred to him as anything other than "the player." Yeah, it's all funny now.

Maybe Romo was showing some support for offensive coordinator Jason Garrett, who Owens allegedly speared in a Twitter post recently. The text of which was: "blame the OC & Romo!! but i'm happy 2 b where i am but i miss the other guys tht were & r true teammates."

Now, we say "allegedly," of course, because reputable news organizations such as Post Patterns are aware that anyone with a computer can create a Twitter account that looks as if it is operated by Terrell Owens, but one must check these things out before presenting them as fact.

Does the post sound like Owens? Sure. Are we convinced it was Owens? Not entirely, although "happy 2 b where i am" is strong circumstantial evidence.

Heading off to the OTA. More later and make sure you check out "You Talkin' To Me?" in Friday's Inquirer. It returns after a week-long suspension with a new lineup. Ringo's kid is playing drums now.

Kevin Kolb and Donovan McNabb pictured at a minicamp earlier this month. McNabb is not participating in this week's voluntary OTAs. (Michael S. Wirtz / Staff Photographer)

Cornerback Ellis Hobbs said an interesting thing this week when someone asked if it felt a little strange for him, as an established veteran, to be at a non-mandatory Organized Team Activity usually reserved for rookies, free agents and selected veterans trying to hold onto their jobs.

"No, brother. I came from New England. Everybody's there. If you could walk, you were there," he said. "It was voluntary-mandatory, if you know what I mean."

We know what you mean, and maybe some of that undercurrent of discipline -- even if the NFLPA might disagree -- is why the Patriots won three Super Bowls recently. It is certainly why quarterback Tom Brady was there this week, getting a jump on knowing the new guys and re-acquainting with the old guys.

Brady is coming off an injury this year, but that's not the motivation. He's there every year, because it is expected that the players, in exchange for their nice salaries, do the extra work that they don't really have to do.

In another organizational environment, Brady could stay at his vacation home with his beautiful wife and he could have passing drills with whatever receivers happen to live in the same resort area. This would qualify as "working hard," even though it wouldn't help his own receivers learn to run routes the way he likes them to be run, or learn to catch the kind of passes he throws.

In other words, he could have the same deal with his team that Donovan McNabb has with his.

McNabb stays in Phoenix when he isn't required to be here, and he has rigorous workout sessions there with his buddies. That's fine. It's what he believes is best for him. But is it best for the Eagles? Is it possible that the five days of OTAs from last week and this week would have benefitted the offense if McNabb got to know and work with LeSean McCoy and Jeremy Maclin?

We'll never know, because that isn't what happens here, even leading up to a season that is pivotal for both the Eagles and McNabb. For all the sternness attributed to Andy Reid, his team operates a lot more loosely than Bill Belichick's. He plays by the rules of the collective bargaining agreement and, perhaps, hopes that players will want to come in even if they don't have to.

When the team leader doesn't take that approach, it is difficult to sell it to the others. Just mark it down as another difference between the Patriots and the Eagles, a difference that is more than three points.

Poll: Should McNabb participate in OTAs? (906 votes)